If Looks Could Kill…

DanielondizI can’t even remember as to when exactly I last bitched about someone I really, really despise but here goes…

Before I do so, let me just say that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. You know me… I just don’t have any shame sometimes.

In spite of whatever bitching that you see here, keep in mind that I’m a REALLY nice and sweet person. Promise.

Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a heroin syringe (hell, morphine is good, too) in my eye… but since I’m immortal, it’s pretty much impossible to erase me from the face of this planet.

Now… meet Mr. Daniel Ondiz. He’s this mongrel who lives in the UK who troll every single post I make in some online internet forum. He’s half Filipino, half something something. Whatever. All roads lead to perdition but for some strange reason, he ended up somewhere in bumfuck Scotland. I assume his reformed prostitute mother married some sad git.

Bitch had the nerve to call me ugly.

Now I generally don’t have a problem with that. Hello, it’s a known fact that I have a face only a biological mother can love but when that statement is coming from someone who looks like a complete turd and then saying he’s gorgeous and I’m not, then that’s where the problem starts.

That Daniel made me choke on my own vomit when I saw one of his recent pics.

It’s not even funny.

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Shit, I am so glad he’s gay. I have absolutely no words as to what his offspring would be like. I know any of my future offspring can give Saffie Monsoon a run for her money.

Looking at his photo will make ANYONE in this god damn planet feel BETTER about themselves.

Ooooooh I really despise him. He’s such an asshole.

I even asked one of my best, best friends the first thing that came to his mind when I showed him his photo.

Life is beautiful my friend. Sadly, not this guy’s.

I’m gorgeous, you’re ugly INDEED.

Whew. Now that has been said, I’d like to thank you for allowing me the opportunity to vent. This is exactly why I love my blog. This little narcissistic shrine of mine is sooo therapeutic, it’s better than seeing my shrink.

You see, I have the option to either:

a) keep all my derogatory thoughts about him to myself and be insane for the rest of my life or

b) cleanse my mind, body and soul by purging all my dirty sins in the form of a blog post no matter how defamatory it may be.

I’d rather choose the latter…

I have to be TRUE to myself you know. They don’t call me the big brown bitch from hell for nothing.

Phone Fun with Bryanboy

Wait a sec.

Save your sanctimonious sermons. Before you castigate me and tell me I’m ugly too (so I don’t have the right to criticize satan’s spawn)

Well guess what? Even if Natasha Poly and Gemma Ward is one (very tiny) notch prettier than me, I do have the right.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I think he’s ugly. Hahahahaha!

REPEAT AFTER ME: IT’S NOT A SIN TO MAKE FUN OF OTHER PEOPLE. BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER. IT’S NOT A SIN TO MAKE FUN OF OTHER PEOPLE. BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER.

We’re all gonna burn in hell anyway so why should we deprive ourselves of some good ol’ fun?

Ok. Next!

This is EXACTLY why I love posting my phone number online. It’s little (priceless) moments like these that make life worth living.

Random stranger called my number earlier this morning and hung up. He did one of those "missed call" things and expected me to call him back.

I sent him a message telling him I don’t call strangers who are not on my contact list.

A couple of hours later, random stranger calls again. Read the rest of the messages.

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I also sent him/her a followup message 30 minutes later that said "Well?????".

Message #36 is the last message I got. I think I scared him/her away.

Thanks for giving me a good laugh. That really made my night. I was sooo bored earlier and I needed something to make me smile.

Sweet Scent of Logo-Free Success

I had a blast Friday last week. Definitely one of the best nights I’ve ever had in this town… and I managed it without a single logo in sight. You know how I’m trying to avoid anything that’s got a logo this year, whether it’s LV, interlocking CCs, Dior, etc.

After several months of planning, a good friend and I finally had a dinner date. She brought me to a French restaurant called "Je Suis Gourmand".

Words cannot describe how wonderful the food was. The foie gras and white asparagus was TO DIE FOR. My steak was fabulous. Each course is rich and scrumptious… perfection! Heck, it’s been 6 days already and I’m STILL bloated from all that food intake last Friday.

For your reference, a 3-course meal for 2 plus several glasses of white wine will set you back about US$85. It’s MONEY well-spent. Trust me on this one.

Je Suis Gourmand is located at GF Net1 Center Bldg., Fort Bonifacio, beside Neo Spa and BPI. Phone number is +63.2.815.8801.

Apres-dinner, my friend Ianne and I went to this bar called "Luce" to celebrate an acquaintance’s birthday party.

Top by Marc by Marc Jacobs, belt and tie by Topshop, pin by Versace, handbag by Marc Jacobs Collection, jeans by Cheap Monday.

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Eindhoven, Noord-Brabant Holland, Riga, Latvia, Manchester, UK, Langley, BC Canada, Champigny-sur-Marne, France, Hung Hom, HK, Rome, Italy, Ostrava, Moravskoslezsky Kraj Czech Republic, Visaginas, Lithuania and of course, all the beautiful people of Rio De Janeiro, Brazil! I love each and every one of you… say hi, mother fuckers!

#2 – Courtesy of one of the gayest blogs evar, Towleroad.com, Karl Lagerfeld appears to have a gorgeous friend.

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I WANNA GET A CHIN AUGMENTATION PROCEDURE DONE. NOW!

#3 – An urgent cry for help. Can someone please watch/listen to this video and tell me the name of the track that’s being played around the middle to the end of the clip? It’s the track where all the gorgeous are mincing on the runway and where Zac is being interviewed. I think the song is either spanish or italian. I’m not sure.

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Click here to watch the video

All I know is that "na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na" thing got me obsessed. I downloaded a copy of that video on my video ipod and had the thing run on my speakers for HOURS!!!

Believe it or not, for the very first time in my life, I’m lusting over Zac Posen. Not his clothes, silly, but him and his slimy, dirty looks. I think he’s kinda hot. For some strange reason, he’s got this weird sex appeal, thanks to that video. I can totally envision him giving it to me hard up my bum. Curly hair and all.

#4 – I love it when people do the infamous Bryanboy handbag pose. Be creative! Be spontaneous! In fact, get the best muscle mary you can find, strip him naked, cover his crotch with an "I LOVE BRYANBOY" sign and get him to smile for the camera.

Big shout to all my fabulous lovers (and posers) below…

Kudos to Diesel @ Poochnation.com.au. Diesel is soooo cute!!!!!!!! I’ll definitely pay him a visit if ever I get my ass down to Melbourne, Australia.

As always, you know how to contact me. Email bryan@bryanboy.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.