Toxic Week Ahead, My Maid Went to Manhattan, Random Cheesemax

Written By bryanboy

Toxic Week Ahead

To cut this story short, take a peek on my PARTIAL to-do list for the week of March 27 – April 2, 2006.

My life is sooo boring and predictable it’s not even funny.

I hate having short attention span.

I think I need a breakthrough. I need to experience/do something NEW and something different.

Something EXCITING.

My Maid Went to Manhattan.

Oh. my. god.

My maid, as you all know, her name is Miss Eunice, scared the shit out of me.

She took yesterday off so she can visit some of her friends.  It’s been quite awhile since she had a "day off". She’s entitled to have sundays off but she likes to stay around the house and watch TV instead.

Anyway, we (ok, mainly I) got soo worried that she ran away cause she was supposed to be back by 10PM last night. As of now she’s still not here.

I asked my dad whether he spoke to Miss Eunice and he said yeah, she spent the night at her friend’s house and she will be back sometime today. Whew.

I don’t care what you think but she’s the best, best, best maid I ever had. In spite of accidentally washing some of my long-sleeve Lucien Pellat-Finet cashmere sweaters (into baby tee sizes with the same texture as a brilo pad) back when she was new, she knows my fashion A to Zs. She’s also the gatekeeper to my sins; she’s got my habits memorized to the back of her head and she knows what to do next even if she was blindfolded.

Ohhhhh I can’t even imagine life without Miss Eunice.

*kidding* I’m not entirely dysfunctional and incapable, you know.

I was chit chatting with one of my good friends yesterday and she told me that everytime she calls, I’m always either eating something or "drinking/making some tea".

032706_cigarettefree

I’ve been sick the past few days so I’ve been indulging on chicken noodle soup and chamomile tea.

And yes, I DO FUCKIN FEND FOR MYSELF, case in point: i currently have cough and a sore throat. I have to stand up, tip toe my way to the kitchen, raid the larder etc. when I’m hungry.

I’m not one of those lazy, fat-arsed people with ding-a-ling-a-ling-ding-dong porcelain or ceramic bells. My grandma used to be one of those people. Anyway, all she had to do is ring the bell and her personal batallion of servants will get down on their knees as if she were the Sultan of Brunei. 

My grandnana is sooo stubborn and lazy. She’s got all these people living at her house to attend her every need. I don’t get it at all. She’s got one person to do the laundry, one for the food, one for miscellaneous errands, etc. And to think she only lives by herself (ok, one of my Aunts live there too). 

Enough about household help. I hope Miss Eunice comes back soon cause my room is already dirty! HAHAHAHAHA!

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Chek Chue, Hong Kong, Paris, France, Madrid, Spain, Bath, United Kingdom, Boscoreale, Campania Italy, Toms River, NJ, Flaskebekk, Akershus Norway, Hoi Pa, Hong Kong, Skogome, Sweden, Birmingham, UK, Colfax, IN, Budapest, Hungary, Praves, Cantabria Spain, Valencia, Spain, Cockfosters, UK and of course, all the gorgeous people in Bratislava, Slovakia. I love each and every one of you. Say hi mother fuckers and don’t be shy.

# 2 – Bobby Trendy stole my halloween shoes! Put me beside him and he will make me look as if I’m a virgin nun. I have no words for this guy… no words.

I don’t understand why people associate me with him. Lower and lower middle class suburban Americans who watch cheap, white trash television, told me Bobby Trendy and I are similar.

Is it because we’re both flamboyant?

Cher1Is it because we both read Memoirs of a Gaysian?

Heck, I’m NOT even THAT outrageous. He literally makes me look as if I’m the epitome of discretion.

Think about it.

Me:   plain, white, fruit of the loom t-shirt.
Him:  Marjan Pejoski Bjork swan dress

Me:   plain, black, petit bateau t-shirt
Him:  Cher in Bob Mackie feather dress and headress on 57th Academy Awards

Bobby Trendy is pure FOB/fresh-off-the-boat Asian trash he’s not even funny at all. In fact, one of my acquaintances told me he’s half Filipino. Or something. For all we know, he could be the guy who murdered Gianni Versace, Andrew Cunanan, gayified to the extreme.

032706_bobbytrendy

He’s also a furniture designer. I think he had a segment at the Anna Nicole Smith show (go figure) and that’s how he became famous.

032706_annabed I have no words for his furniture style. Click here to visit his website to see for yourself. His furnishings look as if they came straight from a whore house/brothel/cheap motel. Take a look at this bed for instance. I get very disturbing mental images of wrinkly, middle-aged drag queens jumping on top this bed, playing pillow fights and all… The "Anna Bed" costs $5,000. Oi vey! Too expensivo for that little piece of shit… frankly, I’d rather buy a cheapo bed from Ikea or Crate & Barrell.

Hideous. Just hideous!

#3 – Tomorrow’s the Shu Uemura party and I still don’t have anything to wear. I have to look "bejeweled" and "dazzling". Ughhhhhhh!!!!!!!! Shu parties are the hottest tickets in town. I have to look good tomorrow. In fact, I’m gonna go shopping later this afternoon.

#4 – I LOOOVVVEEEE my new Dolce & Gabbana leather and lace bag. The leather is sooo buttery soft. The bag is HUGE though. It’s a ltitle bigger than my Fendi spy. It’s available for US$2,375 at BergdorfGoodman.com or NeimanMarcus.com. The picture doesn’t do the bag justice… it’s really really gorgeous in person.

032706_dolce

#5 – I’m on the hunt for a new men’s jacket and I like the navy pinstripe (US$1,540) one by John Galliano. I saw this while scanning the Bergdorf Goodman spring catalog. I also like the button down shirt with handpainted fishes by Etro (US$475).

032706_gallianojacket

Isn’t the jacket lovely?

032706_etroshirt

I think that’s it for now. I’ll update again when I get home… it’s 2:36PM and I gotta get ready. I have some errands and shopping to do.

Email me mother fuckers. My email address is bryan@bryanboy.com. SMS +63-915-785-1492 if you have something to say.

I love you all as always.

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

25 Comments

  1. My mother used to have a favorite maid: a 15 pound overweight lesbo who rants in her pig latin dialect every morning at breakfast. She loved her because she wouldn’t try to smooch with every god-forsaken achay-killer of a tricycle driver nor did she sneak out of the maids’ quarters at two am to call a text mate fling.
    Simply because she was a dyke.
    Or so we thought.
    My parents had the house re-painted. Five men were hired to do the two month renovation job.
    After the renovation shit, the maid disappeared. We later learned that she had been screwing the main man of the renovation team discreetly.
    Dang lesbo itched for meat after 25 years of oyster licking.

  2. How old is Cher, by the way? Is she still flashing her scrunched up 50-something ass cheeks to barely 30 sailors?
    If MILF porn stars look like Cher, I would subscribe to an MILF site even if I’d get labeled a closet dyke salivating after dried-up sex-starved grannies.
    Gorgeousness.

    I heart you BryanBoy xxx

  3. I’m REALLY worried I was the only one who laughed when I saw “BUY ZITHROMAX 500mg” in your list!I’m worried because I’m neither a pharmacist, nor a doctor…I’m just a WHORE!

  4. you sexy biatch! i want one of your bags!
    xoxoxo
    if you werent so pretty i’d murder u just to get em!!

  5. Bonjour Bryan !!
    Hey your Blog is really really cool !!
    LV, Chanel, Dior and Marc jacobs are the best in the world !!!
    i love ur pictures !!
    Keep on doing such a good job !
    Olivier

  6. BRYAN!!!! I can’t believe you’re not participating in any event in the MANILA FASHION WEEK ’06?!! I can’t believe you… you’re lucky enough to be stuck here in the Phils. during the fashion week and I’m going to miss it because I’ll be in Europe. Tell those designers to move the fashion week until I get back!
    Anything John Galliano is good as long as you don’t wear John Galliano from head to foot… you’ll really be looking like Bobby Trendy if you do. From your pictures though, I think you can pull-off an all Galliano get-up.
    Hey, I’m just wondering… do you even read these comments? You don’t even reply! It makes commenting worthless. Hello… we want to hear from you too personally, you know. Send us some love!
    Ciao!

  7. Bry, Im happy you adress the Bobby Not Trendy thing. I mean really, the only similarity is that you both are Asian. You have class ,sophistication and poise, he is just trailor trash who fucked his way to the top.

  8. Hello Bryanboy,
    Hope all’s well. I definitely agree that you and Bobby Trendy are not in the same category.
    You know who reminded me of you when I was reading an article about him in the Washington Post? Johnny Weir, the new enfant terrible (in a good way) of US Figure Skating. I mean that as a compliment (to both you and Johnny). I think he may be more serious than you though (and may have more to learn from you about shopping and the best labels around). Here’s the article:
    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/02/21/AR2006022101861.html

  9. someone in sg

    hey, i see that u want to check out on singapre fares. What do you want to check out? ‘Is it the air tix rate from ur country to singapore?
    Or is it the pricing of stuffs in singapore?
    I’d be most glad to help you out if i can. =D

  10. little lulu

    omg Bryanboy are you coming to Singapore soon?! YAY PLEASE DO! my friends and i soooo wanna meet you and we can all booooogie down together haha! do state when you are coming down!
    much loveee from me from the very small and sunny island :D

  11. Hahaha. You’re too funny.
    I agree with you. That Bobby Trendy person looks and sounds like he was barfed out by the bastard lovechild of ChiChi LaRue and whoever the reigning Miss Gay Philippines is.

  12. hey, there’s a place in san antonio circle in forbes where they do biz cards….try checking it out!its on the second floor on top of santis!

  13. Bryanboy –
    I’ve read your blog for over a year now and have noticed a recent, steady decline in your content.
    What’s going on? Are you getting bored with this forum? Are your interests waning and you are more interested in side projects?
    I once checked your blog 3-4 times a day, but now I just check back every 3-4 days. I’ve even been debating about taking you off my “favorites” list, which in some weird way, makes me sad.
    What’s going on?
    Sincerely,
    An old-school Bryanboy fan

  14. shooshoo

    They featured you on queerclick.com! :) But I think the Bobby Trendy comparison came up somewhere in the comments section. heehee.

  15. Coming over to Singapore!?
    I’d love to play tourguide and show you around.
    Love your blog!
    Drop me an email or text message yea?

  16. Hi Bri,
    You are nothing like this Bobby-not-trendy-at-all guy. Who is he anyways ? You are special, one of a kind, my purse idol. Just be you and remember your fans luv you, moi included.

  17. hi…
    come on… that bobby guy is no match for you… besides, he looks more macho and more masculado. he doesn’t even look gay. we love you… my non-sexual wife Niki looooves you to pieces darling… besides… i’d totally adore you over that trying-too-much faggot…
    love ya!!!

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