Adoption Notice

Hannah Matronic: (2/14/2006 10:42:17 PM): ill-gotten wealth is hot
Bryanboy: (2/14/2006 10:42:19 PM): I KNOW

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I was originally gonna post an in-depth entry about my Adoption Notice out to the public. I wanted to be adopted by someone with ill-gotten wealth but I decided to back out in the last minute because it suddenly occured to me that nobody will adopt anyone over the age of 12, let alone adopt anyone twice that age.

I posted my adoption poster though for posterity’s sake. Don’t get me wrong… ill-gotten wealth is cool… shit, wealth, regardless whether it’s ill-gotten or legitimate, is fabulous.

I think the best option at this point is to dig platinum through traditional methods. Being self-employed (aka prostituion) is one thing, selling your soul to satan is another.

I like the former. Screw dignity at this point. I’m gonna be a prostitute one day. The idea of having lots of sex and getting paid for it is fucking awesome.

Friday_002_1Third World Tai Tai

"Tai Tais, a Cantonese term, are wives or mistresses of wealthy businessmen, the occidental equivalent being ladies-of-leisure or, to put it less chivalrously, trophy wives. In the Asian context, they are a relatively recent phenomenon, arising from the East Asian economic resurgence of the past half-century, though they could trace their ancestry to the concubine traditions of Chinese history. Tai Tais are famed for their exquisitely groomed and attired persons made possible by their spouses’ wealth. They often become fashion icons if they possess the requisite qualifications of taste, a model to be followed by other Tai Tais and Tai Tai wannabes. Being of widely disparate backgrounds, often there is little else other than their sartorial splendor to immediately distinguish them as a class. So it is very understandable that they seek to mould their identities on their consumption."
Karunanethy Kalaivani

I don’t care what you think but it’s been quite awhile since I dabbled around my delusions of gradeur.

What was I thinking yesterday when I said I wanted to have a career in the healthcare industry? I must have been on a morphine drip to have such ludicrous thought.

Oh fuck it. Friday_003_1After Friday’s frolics, I decided I don’t want to be famous. Heck, I even don’t want to be a star! And I definitely don’t want a career as a standup doyenne of comedy either.

I know it would take more than a ton of skin-whitening products, a facial reconstruction (i.e. eyelash removal and eyelid folding) and a last name with no more than 1 vowel… but yeah….

I think I want to become a TAI TAI when I grow up!!!!!

I’m envisioning mammoth National Portrait Gallery-worthy murals of me, myself and I, followed by a nice gold plaque that says "BRYANBOY: LADY OF THIRD WORLD LEISURE". Those murals will travel all over the world, from the Hermitage to the Louvre, Smithsonian to the MET.

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Nina Wang – Asia’s Richest Woman
Flamboyant widow Nina Wang has walked out of Hong Kong’s top court $4 billion richer after beating allegations that she had forged her late husband’s will in her favour. Mrs Wang, known for a girlish style of dressing that includes miniskirts, leather tops, and pigtails, will move to have the criminal charges against her quashed.Sydney Morning Herald

Generations upon generations of girls and faggots worldwide will gasp and revel in my glory.

Hoardes of tourists will pose in front of those murals, emulating their best renditions of the infamous Bryanboy pose.

Fabulous eh? Don’t get pissed at me cause I thought of it first.

Bah! I can’t even get a fucking billboard on one of Manila’s main thoroughfares let alone have my own mural.

Enough fantasy… for now.

Bryan’s Crossdressing Night

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Bryanman and the birthday boy, DJ

Nothing is more fun in this world than bending the rules of gender.

I went to a friend’s birthday party yesterday at L’Opera for a couple of drinks, wearing an outfit Ellen Degeneres would be proud of. The theme of the party was moda mafia black.

I got many many comments from people that I looked good on my outfit, it was quite… errr… different. I kinda disagree with them though after seeing my pictues. Nevertheless, I’m flattered and I love it! I think I’m gonna dress up like a boy man more often.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY DJ!!!!

I’m sooo glad I dressed for the ocassion… I didn’t even know everyone was dressed to the nines until I arrived…. and to think, I was planning to show up wearing a black tank top and jeans!!! HAHAHAHA.

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Dj_peppermiguel 

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Shit, do I really have to dress like a butch lesbian these days to get attention? An acquaintance even told me I looked better as a man than a woman. Oi vey!

It really was great night out!!!! I had sooo much fun.

After L’Opera, I went to a little gay night house party thing in the city, followed by a stint at La Embajada.

OMG. the most embarassing thing EVER happened to me. I totally felt like Stavros-Niarchos-Denied-At-Pure-Nightclub-Las-Vegas yesterday night when I went to the ONLY club I go to in this city.

You see, my usual haunt recently changed some of its staff. Gone are my favourite waiters etc. Even Aslie, my favourite resident door bitch, who let us skip the lines, wasn’t there. They had this new girl in place guarding the clipboard.

When I walked in, the lady asked for my name.

Naturally, I gave it to her.

Then she told me I wasn’t on the list.

Say what now?

I didn’t wanna put on an argument so I told her "ok, thanks" then off I went outdoors.

I SWEAR TO GOD, THERE’S LIKE 5 PEOPLE BEHIND MY BACK AND THEY SAW ALL THAT DRAMA.

Ooooooooh it was sooo embarassing.

List? What list? I never get into those lists cause I always, always, always, ALWAYS get in!!!

Luckily, a friend just arrived so all 3 of us went together.

The manager was there when we went back into the club. He apologised profusely… the clipboard girl was new.

We went to the vip area and stayed for no longer than 5 seconds. It was packed with so many people, stepping on someone’s non-vip shoes was inevitable. I’m surprised nobody died from oxygen deprivation.

Apres-club, we drank the entire night away at the restaurant downstairs till dawn.

I guess it really proves that I’m a mortal too, contrary to what some of you think.

I always find it funny and amusing when people ask me if I’m "THE FAMOUS BRYANBOY" whenever I go out.

I’m not famous, I swear!

I’m just someone with a foul mouth and a voice that wants to be heard.

Heck, I don’t even wanna be famous. Fame can lick my scrotum and my ass crack.

If I were famous, the central bank of the third world will have my name and my face printed on US$20 bills. I’d have my own statue, my own monument and people all over the world will worship me like god.

Bryanboy: Lady of Third World Leisure

I left my dad’s house at 9:30AM on Friday morning with no sleep from the previous night whatsoever, for a business meeting. I went to my favourite cafe and ordered steak and eggs.

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I really can’t wait for my projects to blast off. I’m soo excited!! I just have to make sure I give myself a good kick in the ass to get on with them instead of procrastinating around.

The meeting finished at around 12:30 and I was quite tired. I thought I’d do a little bit of window shopping then go home to catch up with my sleep.

A couple of minutes after I left, I got a text message from a lovely madwoman aka Mrs. T, telling me she’s at the cafe. I love her… she’s soo nice… and her handbag addiction is WORSE than mine! HAHAHAHHAHA!

BTW, I’M ONLY GONNA SAY THIS NOW OR ELSE I’M GONNA DIE OF REGRET LATER…

You see, my handbag illness is acute. I always think it’s gonna go away on its own. If you think mine is bad, hers is CHRONIC! She even gave me nightmares!!! Not once, but many, many, many times. I’m NOT even gonna bother with specifics. SHE KNOWS WHAT HER WRONGDOING IS AND SHE BETTER BE GUILTY OF HER SINS!!!!!!

****YOU***** KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT, MRS. ING BARRINGS.

—–
RANT OVER

Before she got to the cafe, I told my friends and the ladies I met for brunch, that I was planning to buy a classic LV mono speedy later in the afternoon.

Imagine the shock, awe and horror I had when I went to Mrs. T’s table… she was decked out in taitai-NIC barbie-goes-preppy chic: pique polo, jeans, the SHOES, the long hair, and of course, that damn LV mono speedy!

(For some strange reason, using the title "Mrs." feels inappropriate to use because she’s sooo youthful, lithe, thin… don’t forget the VERY long and VERY straight hair… whenever I hear "Mrs., I automatically get mental images of babboon-like matrons stampeding their way to my aesthetician’s office for botox shots.)

I joined her and chit-chatted for a couple of minutes.

Apres-lunch, the two of us hopped (not sHOPPED), from one shop to another, in the halls of Greenbelt 4 like rabid rabbits. We were completely out of it!!!!!

First stop: Louis Vuitton

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Photo credit: Tresor Makati

The perforated speedy is not as bad as you think. It does look like a mini sac chien… I guess it’s part of the appeal. Nevertheless, I think it’s a cute bag… even the outside pockets are lined in suede!

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Isn’t she lovely?

The only time we hushed is when I asked her whether some woman’s Chanel bag was genuine or not… WITHOUT the woman hearing me. I didn’t know whether she was a woman or a teenage girl. She looked like one of those little girls that run for beauty pageants acting like a 40 year old except she was sluttier and she had what looked like a Chanel white cambon (with python) bucket bag. The guy she’s with was rather scary…. 6 foot tall, backwards cap, basketball playAHesque outfit. The type that would punch you in the face in the event of eye contact.

Man, I really need to wear my eyeglasses and I should stop criticizing how other people look when I look like a prostitute myself.

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Next Stop: Mix Boutique

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I’m still pissed (and I have no one else to blame other my familia de horreur) for missing Celine’s Loungeri Lux line last weekend.

I bought a black tee (size LARGE!!!!!) and Mrs. T helped me pick my ribbons.

Fri_loungerilux

The tees run really really small, fyi.

After Loungeri Lux, Mrs T. and moi dropped by at Burberry, Bottega Veneta and Bvlgari.

What can I say… even Blvgari loves me.

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Photo credit: Tresor Makati

The bottega bag above is sooo supple and soft.

I had a blast with Mrs. T. That woman is a hoot!!!!!!

Overall I had a nice weekend.

I’ll create another podcast in a couple of hours so if you’re reading this, fire away with your questions!

As always, check out my forums, http://www.bryanboy.com/forum

Big hugs and kisses from the fabulous turd world.

I love you all!

Email bryan@bryanboy.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

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