My trip to the grand dame powerhouse of all things media – TV and Publishing was FUN! FUN! FUN! Who whould have thought I’d get a nice, little tour of what goes on behind the scenes where the money factory is? Alright, the only thing that was missing was a trip to a radio station.
Let’s play pictionary shall we?
First off… I met this guy. He’s the son of a really famous actress who is now a politician. His name is Lucky if I’m not mistaken… yes mother fuckers… he’s that LUCKY for having Vilma Santos as his mom.
I *KNOW* what you’re thinking.
We went to a studio where a noon-time show is being broadcasted live. THEY WERE HANDING OUT MOTORCYCLES FOR FREE! It was soooo surreal!!!!! I stood backstage and I saw 2 motorcycles right pass right in front of me.
And then we went to another studio and got to see all these TV things…
And of course, I had to get my picture taken with this guy. He’s a famous actor here in the third world.
HANNAH MATRONIC EAT YOUR HEART OUT!
Ugh. I’m cringeing with shock, awe and horreur with all these cheeky fun. I LOVE IT though. HAHAHAHA!
Anyway, I saw him in flesh and he was running off somewhere.
Perhaps the highlight of my tour was the fact that I FINALLY got to see what a publishing house looks like. If you only knew how monumental it was for me.
(One thing I forgot to ask is why on earth there aren’t there any half-naked models going in for go-sees?)
You see, back when I was a child, I wanted to be a doctor. Then I realized I didn’t want to operate on all things lifeless (i.e. my dolls).
When my imaginary friends came into the picture (i.e. the SAME dolls), I decided I wanted to be a teacher. I talked to my stuffed toys all day and all night as if they were my students.
My parents bought me everything a teacher had; a blackboard, chalk, eraser, lesson plans and class record books where you write down your students’ grades.
I was 12 years old. Oh the memories.
When that inevitable thing called "ageing" hit me, I thought the perfect job would be that of working in a magazine.
You know… something really piss easy, like being an accessories editor for a fashion magazine… like yYou get your own page and all you do is pick 10 good accessories and bam, effortless work.
It’s only until last year that the truth came out.
Working for a publication will suck the blood out of your body and drain you like a whore.
I now have soo much respect for people who work in magazines/newspapers.
Nuclear Wintour is another story though.
Lindsay Lohan for Vanity Fair
I think my interview with one of the top magazines went well. I guess I’ve always been tongue-in-cheek and I’m just not used to be asked serious, in-depth questions. Today was quite different. Not even aluminum hydrochloride saved my palms from sweating. I did, however, answer in the best way that I possibly can (hey… practice makes perfect).
I’ve been interviewed several times in the past (mostly newspapers) and luckily, everything that has been published about me were 100and20% positive with no regrets whatsoever.
I have to admit I’m kinda feeling a little worried. But hey, it’s all about trust.
I sent a text message to some of my friends informing them where my new domicile would be in the event my self-depreciating mouth got me into trouble.
Especially the part where I said something about who I think is cute in local showbiz. Oh god. How embarassing.
1. I shared more than what I should’ve shared about my crappy childhood. It’s true though. I didn’t have true friends. Most of my classmates were two-faced homophobic bitches and my teachers came from hell. I sincerely hope they turn into fucking ashes.
Wait… they will!
2. I wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. Never have, never will. And I will never be ashamed that all I got was Bs and Cs in school… add the Ds to conduct and religion.
3. I’m certified member of Home Hermits Anonymous; I usually spend 16 hours a day in front of the computer and I’m not fucking ashamed about it.
4. Contrary to what people think, I only go out once or twice a week and most of my "real friends" are limited to that of the healthcare sector – my manicure and pedicure gal, my aesthetician (Belinda), my hair stylist (Dennis of Provost) and my doctor (Dr. Andrew).
5. I’m really a loner.
6. My name is Bryanboy and I propel anorexia.
7. I’m kidding. It didn’t go THAT far.
8. You’d be shocked as to WHO I said the one person (in the Philippines) I’d love to meet.
Don’t worry… I’ll scan the interview when it goes out.
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Livorno, Toscana Italy, Vienna, Austria, Kisa, Sweden, Gilles Plains, SA Australia, Forsby, Sweden, Buskerud, Norway, Jakarta, Indonesia, Auckland, New Zealand, Temecula, CA, Richmond, TAS Australia, Seattle, WA and of course, people from Annandale, NSW Australia. Identify yourselves bitches and say hello!
#2 – Many, many, many thanks to my hosts at ABS-CBN Publishing for the warm reception… and the scrumptious lunch!!!!
#3 – You know where to send imagery of your love. Email firstname.lastname@example.org. No photoshopped photos please!
#4 – Why is it soo damn hard to find SIZE 14 men’s shirts in Manila? The smallest size Paul Smith have is SIZE 15 or 15.5!!!! There’s a market for slim people out here you know? I know I’m starting to look like a malnourished African child complete with a bulging tummy and thin arms but hey, I need shirts too! If you know of a place where I can buy customized/tailored button down shirts (in Manila), please let me know. DON’T TELL ME I HAVE TO GET MYSELF FATTER JUST TO BUY MEN’S CLOTHES CAUSE I’D RATHER FLUSH MYSELF DOWN THE TOILET THAN CHANGE MY BODY WITH THE AID OF ANYTHING EDIBLE.
#5 – This photo screams LOVE. LOVE, LOVE and LOVE!
#6 – Yes mother fuckers. Even people from Hamburg, ARKANSAS (HOW FAR IS IT FROM ALTUS????) love my pose. Thanks Ginger. You all look absolutely stunning and gorgeous. I love you all!
And if that person wearing a red jacket is a guy, please tell him that I’d rather see him naked.
Gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous!
As always, you know how to get a hold of me. Keep those emails and text messages coming. Bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.
Stay young, stay pretty and stay beautiful. Don’t do anything that I won’t do.