No Facial Expressions, I Want My Old Body Back, Heads Up!

Written By bryanboy

No Facial Expressions

I thought I’d publish this addendum on the last minute.

1) Turn your speakers on.
2) Go to
3. Take note on how my gal pal Paris doesn’t change facial expressions.
4. Close the window (be sure to CLOSE the damn browser window)
5. Go to

and tell me what you think.

Someone from an internet forum did this because he thinks I don’t change facial expressions.

Obviously he hasn’t seen my cum gargling picture.

I Want My Old Body Back!


After looking at one of my old pics, I realized shit, I want my old body back.

I had the body of an African gazelle. Look how beautiful I was… my long, thin arms, the gap between my elbows and my waist, my shoulders, my hips… skip the stomach part – I’ll forever be a pregnant bitch… not even quarterly liposuction sections can abort the fetus in my tummy.

Puerto Galera

I don’t give a fuck whether you agree with me or not but I think I fuckin looked DAMN good back then. Call me ugly, call me shit, call me fugly, I think I was once a gorgeous parakeet!

I love how I can be sooo full of myself sometimes.

What’s worse is the fact that this picture was taken only 3 years ago. It’s amazing what AGE can fucking do to one’s body. I turned into this tub of lard in no more than 1,000 days.

It’s 6:23AM and I’m having lunch in a couple of hours. I’m definitely gonna purge whatever it is I eat later… for old times’ sake.

Heads Up!

This week is gonna be crazy.

It’s one of my friend’s birthday party tomorrow and I need to look good and presentable. I also have attend a party or two this weekend, one of which I have to dress up in my best "Shipwreck Glam" ensemble.

I think this is great. I’m finally having an opportunity to meet and interact with people again because I’m so sick and tired of being a lonely home tom.

I know it’s my fault why I’m a fucking loner.

I could easily go out each and every night but I’m just fucking lazy. I make no effort whatsoever about having a social life. I make excuses on how I don’t have anything to wear or how I live so damn far from civilization (actually, I do).

I’m also leaving in a couple of days to go somewhere el tropical – white sand, blue sky, cool breeze, sea, sun and sand in between my butt cheeks.

I started to pack my things and boy there’s a ton of outfit preparation (and shopping) that needs to be done.


I know, I know, I’m having the hardest time going logo-free. Especially if it’s Chanel we’re dealing with. Sorry to disappoint mother fuckers but shopping at the huge white store at Rue Cambon is pure torture if you want to ditch logo-a-gogo.

That being said, let me reassure you that I’m definitely gonna glam it up this later this year. Perhaps not in a "in-your-face" pile-it-all-up manner but something understated. Many of you have emailed, called and SMSed telling me I look good with my black ensemble in Paris. Fine. I’m gonna resurrect my black phase again so expect a ton of black clothes from me in the next few months. In fact, I even have black trunks/bathing suits en route to the third world from Tomas Maier.

Anyway, it just occured to me that I need to go back to the salon (again) sometime soon to get a trim. I want my hair a tad shorter and I want to get more highlights.

Bryanboy Loves and Random Cheesemax

#1 – I’m gonna give some internet discussion forum love today. Bryanboy loves people from General Mayhem, Killing Ifrit, Living With Style, Female Network, Skim Online, Houston Beats and of course, the lovely boys at

#2 – Big shout out to people from Mount Laurel, NJ, Lynn, IN, Madrid, Spain, Ogden, UT, Chicago, IL, Dallas and Houston, TX, San Pedro, CA, Escondido, CA, Chandler, AZ, Des Plaines, IL, Marquette, MI, Bronx, NY, Carrollton, TX, Clayton, NC, Beaumont, Newfoundland, Brisbane, QLD Australia, Clifton Park, NY, Scranton, PA and of course, my homies at Cupertino, CA. Bryanboy loves you all! Identify yourselves bitches by posting a comment on my site.

#3 – Oooooooh I love these straight boys. You know how I love turning heterosexual, fanny-fucking boys into handbag-toting peeps. You know what to do to simulate the infamous Bryanboy pose – wear your best sunglasses, put one hand on your waist and do a nazi salute with a handbag! Email me your photos at





#4 – I now know what I wanna be when I get older. I wanna be the United Nations Secretary General! I swear to god, think of how beautiful and peaceful the world would be if I have the highest position in the diplomatic circle? With all the love I’ve been getting recently, I can unite the world in the name of vanityyyyyyyyyyyy!!!


Send your images of love and hate (NO PHOTOSHOPPED PICS PLEASE) to I’m having a whole new website with these pictures soon!

#5 – These images are sooooo fucking funny. Someone made them in attempt to insult me. Well, I found them hilariou – I like the one with the Chanel bag and the colourful dildos. Gorgeous, fucking GORGEOUS!

Brandyboymcdcdildover  Bryanboymcdc

I think that’s about it. You know where to contact me. Email (jesus man, how many times do I have to say that email address) or SMS my Moto Razr at +63-915-785-1492.


(say it with me. you know you want to.)


  1. bulimicadvisor

    hey bryanboy…so u want to be bulimic eh? wot tips do u want? i’d b more than happy to share them with u…the #1 tip is to always drink some water/doke(diet coke) etc with anything ur eating so that when it comes to purging it…its a lot easier.

  2. I stumbled upon this site a few hours ago and I’m totally hooked! It’s so fab! You’re so fab! I can’t believe I’ve spent my whole blogging lifetime without ever coming across this. You are da pwets! And I mean that in a totally complimentary way.;P

  3. LUCY_in_the_SKY

    hey fabulous bryanboy! JUst wondering what are some non-designer fashion-related things you actually wear/use? keep on writing! =)

  4. America’s Answer to David Beckham’s

    Nail polish and rumored G-strings? So Nick likes Jessica’s shoes. Judging by some of the emails I get, he is far from being the only guy who has a thing for wearing women’s shoes. Her boots were made for …

  5. what the hell is that green animal you are supposed be be riding? Is it a cross between a camel and a slug?

  6. what the hell is that green animal you are supposed be be riding? Is it a cross between a camel and a slug?

  7. I absolutely LOVE the little animation of you riding the cute green dildo creature! Even your haters adore you!
    You should drop about five pounds and sashay around in swim trunks more often. Your thighs are spectacular.

  8. Genevieve

    You should know that ever since you mentioned Hotel Costes, I have had that damn Pink Martini song “Sympatique” stuck in my head for all eternity. So I thank you for that. Really, I do. It’s a good, sexy, v. sophis. song.
    As to wanting one’s old body back…don’t we all. :

  9. Am I banned in this site? I tried posting but it’s not coming through.. :( I just want to tell you that I can take your photos since you are here in Manila. You know the price (wink wink)

  10. why werent u in bora? i was waiting for u to mince around like a vicious tramp in paradise!

  11. I don’t think you have become ugly comparing your past and present photos. You look great actually.
    I find the gif hilarious, too. You’re right, it isn’t insulting.

  12. I love you and your spirit!! I am identifying myself as a new lurker, since you asked. You look gorgeous in that photo, but certainly have not gone downhill.

  13. Pia Magalona

    The facial expressions don’t change post is GREAT! It’s uncanny how both you and Paris are capable of holding that pose. He-he!

  14. Abby Lorenzo

    I followed your instructions and all I can say is…OMG Bryanboy!!! It kinda gave me the shivers because what that person was saying is true all along. You don’t really change you facial expression. It sort of reminds me of the Mona Lisa painting where she has this faint smile but is really happy from the inside. I have viewed your more recent pictures and I also like it when you smile. Who cares what other people say about having a pretty pout being far better than smilling. I like it better when you smile. Stay beautiful from the inside and out. Hugs. Abby

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