Seasons Greetings My Fucking Ass

Written By bryanboy

Seasons Greetings My Fucking Ass

and a Joyeux Noel to you too from my John Galliano-ed oversized wool & cashmere twinset (tank + cardigan) covered ass.


Believe it or not, even some of the world’s most fabulous clothes aren’t enough to cheer a lonely little girl like me on Christmas Eve.

(What I need is a fucking Vacheron Constantin watch and a Boucheron necklace. I’m kidding.)

I mean, it’s almost 9PM and I’m all alone.

In my hotel room.

Isn’t it sad? I thought I’d have a good ol’ grand Christmas in Paris.

I’m soooo fucking homesick!!!!!!!!!

Not even Kate Moss can keep me company.


I miss the third world.

I miss my familia de horreur.

I even miss my mom’s annual Christmas drama and her (or should I say the maid’s) Christmas chicken noodle soup – it’s been a family tradition to have chicken noodle soup on Christmas Eve.

I miss being dragged to the church for Christmas Mass by my father. Heck, Christmas is the only time I’ll go to church – to thank God for all the blessings, to ask God for MORE blessings aka more Chanel.

I spent the entire afternoon walking around Paris. I ended up spending an awful amount of time at Fauchon, buying edible presents – chocolates, tea, more chocolates, more tea, foie gras, pate, jam, preserves etc.


God knows how I’m gonna carry all of them home.

I don’t need empty suitcases.

What I need is a miracle.

I think I’m going to start packing my shit.

I know all of you are having fancy schmancy Christmas dinners and gift opening ceremonies with your respective families.

I have one thing to say.

Fuck each and every one of you.

Because I know I won’t have that 10 extra pounds to lose by 2006.



Merry Christmas and Seasons’ Greetings. I love you all.



  1. i’m sorry but you look like an old drunkard lady in the first picture. haha!
    i love the last pic though! the pose is very haute couture! contort that body, skinny biatch! :D

  2. well, have a very merry christmas!!u can seek comfort in shopping shopping and more shoping!!!much love,all the way from Melbourne!!!

  3. I’ve been stalking your blog for quite awhile now….but I just needed to come out and say that “I’d kill to have your body”.Love those pics. And as I was browsing through your archives, I also have to add that your sister Tina is beautiful.
    Merry Christmas Bryanboy!

  4. wish you fabulous holidays gal!
    ….keep up with that life n your fabulousness and lettin us know about it!
    Berlin greets you!

  5. Ummmm.. John

    1. My Copenhagen photo album is up. Click here for photos. I told my gal pal Tina D. earlier than most of my pictures in Copenhagen were taken during the night time because that’s the only time I’m with someone. In response, she told me that all I have to do is to wait for Paris (she’ll arrive on Thursday), we’ll create a spectacle of ourselves and then we’ll camwhore to death.

  6. Hi, just wanted to drop a line. You look fabulous as you are, no need to lose the ten lbs, you are gorgeous.

  7. can you have pics with manila’s old money…like celine lopez,etc.that jenny e looks so trying hard…the former dispatchadora of panicucci…tina tinio looks like a disgusting. she always sweats it out nowhere to go….. can you stop placing her here…that pepper t looks like a cat … not a persian one…tell him to visit vicky belo before loading himself with pics….he needs a total face lift …including his crown…

  8. hey … those ppl your with are rily ugly and looks trying hard social wannabees… in lay man’s filipino term ” mga pretensyosa” like tina tinio(ugly version of miss piggy) pepper teehankee ( looks even worst than freddie kruger) and jenny epperson ( i advise her to go back to linea were she belongs) tim yap ( thanks to his sis cindy yang who married mcdonalds but its not yet an excuse that he speaks very bad english)i wanna see more of the REAL GOLD girls like mai mai c. , celine l. and the zobel girls… they deserve the 2nd look…..

  9. Jonathan Andrew L****

    i knew tina t**** in high school. she was really nice. she was cool before a person like you could comment on her character on the internet…
    i googled her name for the first time since high school because she became a distinguished graduate.
    your stupid page came up among the results.
    please take her name off your page.

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