Grande Puta Maricona Putain de Salope

Ayalamuseum2

3:41PM and I just got back home from the big bad city.

My gal pal Tina D. hanged out with me at one of the embassies earlier (I’m surprised she managed to read a book whilst waiting for me… I mean, god… for her to read a book….shit man, I’m impressed!)

I got up at fucking 5AM earlier (only had 2 hours of sleep) to go to one of the embassies to pick up my visa.

I got there at around 7:30 and queued for about 2 hours. Ugh. The hassle and distress eh?

There’s this family of three – husband, wife and a 4 or 5-year old rodent, evil bitch troll son who welcomed me as soon as I entered the embassy lobby.

Guess what satan’s spawn aka rodent said?

"Oh mommy look at that fag! fag fag fag!"

How can someone so young be sooo fuckin homophobic! I swear to god, I wanted to stuff the kid inside my Balenciaga bag and throw the rodent out of the double-digit-floored window.

I don’t blame the kid though. Look at me – no decent and respectable human male would wear my little ensemble.

The parents apologised profusely but the kid was a pest.

Not contented with his verbal abuse, the little bitch lied down on the floor and used his body as if he’s a mop… he did one of those "snow angels" thing right then and there.

If only I brought my bottle of sedatives with me that 5-year old rodent would be dead by now – good ol drug overdose.

Let’s see what he’d end up in about 15 or so years.

I hope he turns out to be a faggot.

The family’s probably applying for residency at the country where I’m going so I’m 100% sure that little piece of shit will take it up the arse with white cocks before he even hits puberty.

I hope that happens.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!

See – I don’t look like I’m an illegal immigrant afterall. I got all the visas I wanted. Apparently it pays to be fucking beautiful, even if I look like a bloody 12 year old on that photo.

Visas

As if I’d be an illegal immigrant anyway. I live like a princess in the land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives.

NOBODY WILL DO A GOOD JOB PROMOTING THE HIGHLY FABULOUS CESSPIT/ARMPIT OF THE THIRD WORLD CALLED ‘LAS ISLAS FILIPINIANAS’.

One day… oh yes one day… set it in stone bitches… I’ll become an AMBASSADOR OF GOODWILL!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Anyway, Tina D nailed it right there when we had this conversation:

Tina D: My god, I’m so glad we were born pretty.

Me: That’s true. Beautiful people get everything in this life. Fame. Fortune. Sex.

Tina D: I can’t even imagine what it’s like to be not-pretty.

Me: You’re the only one who’s pretty, not me bitch.

Tina D: You’re pretty too… compared to them (points at random strangers)

Me: But they’re not faggoty and camp as a row of pink tents like I am. Try being a flamer for a day.

Tina D: That’s true.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

We had lunch at our favourite haunt, the M Cafe, had our usual oysters, lemongrass prawns + mango salad, guava + tamarind + scallops soup and some gindara fish. Loves it!

Ayalamuseum

Oh I’m the happiest heshehoochimammipapimale today!

More updates later you fucking whores.

I throwing a little dinner party tonight with some of the people who appreciate me for being me, with no judgment whatsoever – the ones whom I don’t need to explain anything cause they understand me, me and me!

I need to sleep… and I have 4 hours to do so.

I love you all.

You know where to contact me – Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

Baboosh!