Grande Puta Maricona Putain de Salope

Written By bryanboy

Grande Puta Maricona Putain de Salope


3:41PM and I just got back home from the big bad city.

My gal pal Tina D. hanged out with me at one of the embassies earlier (I’m surprised she managed to read a book whilst waiting for me… I mean, god… for her to read a book….shit man, I’m impressed!)

I got up at fucking 5AM earlier (only had 2 hours of sleep) to go to one of the embassies to pick up my visa.

I got there at around 7:30 and queued for about 2 hours. Ugh. The hassle and distress eh?

There’s this family of three – husband, wife and a 4 or 5-year old rodent, evil bitch troll son who welcomed me as soon as I entered the embassy lobby.

Guess what satan’s spawn aka rodent said?

"Oh mommy look at that fag! fag fag fag!"

How can someone so young be sooo fuckin homophobic! I swear to god, I wanted to stuff the kid inside my Balenciaga bag and throw the rodent out of the double-digit-floored window.

I don’t blame the kid though. Look at me – no decent and respectable human male would wear my little ensemble.

The parents apologised profusely but the kid was a pest.

Not contented with his verbal abuse, the little bitch lied down on the floor and used his body as if he’s a mop… he did one of those "snow angels" thing right then and there.

If only I brought my bottle of sedatives with me that 5-year old rodent would be dead by now – good ol drug overdose.

Let’s see what he’d end up in about 15 or so years.

I hope he turns out to be a faggot.

The family’s probably applying for residency at the country where I’m going so I’m 100% sure that little piece of shit will take it up the arse with white cocks before he even hits puberty.

I hope that happens.


See – I don’t look like I’m an illegal immigrant afterall. I got all the visas I wanted. Apparently it pays to be fucking beautiful, even if I look like a bloody 12 year old on that photo.


As if I’d be an illegal immigrant anyway. I live like a princess in the land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives.


One day… oh yes one day… set it in stone bitches… I’ll become an AMBASSADOR OF GOODWILL!


Anyway, Tina D nailed it right there when we had this conversation:

Tina D: My god, I’m so glad we were born pretty.

Me: That’s true. Beautiful people get everything in this life. Fame. Fortune. Sex.

Tina D: I can’t even imagine what it’s like to be not-pretty.

Me: You’re the only one who’s pretty, not me bitch.

Tina D: You’re pretty too… compared to them (points at random strangers)

Me: But they’re not faggoty and camp as a row of pink tents like I am. Try being a flamer for a day.

Tina D: That’s true.


We had lunch at our favourite haunt, the M Cafe, had our usual oysters, lemongrass prawns + mango salad, guava + tamarind + scallops soup and some gindara fish. Loves it!


Oh I’m the happiest heshehoochimammipapimale today!

More updates later you fucking whores.

I throwing a little dinner party tonight with some of the people who appreciate me for being me, with no judgment whatsoever – the ones whom I don’t need to explain anything cause they understand me, me and me!

I need to sleep… and I have 4 hours to do so.

I love you all.

You know where to contact me – Email or SMS +63-915-785-1492.



  1. Bob George

    Did you edit out the bit where you said you hoped the little boy would be raped?

  2. I hope you shove one piece of local anaesthetics of Novocain in that lil boy’s ass and shove a 20 inch dildo up his ass until he cried blood from his tears.
    Fucking homophobics. They don’t deserve to live even though they are 2 years old.

  3. Your Passport Photo is fantastic! Was that the first take or did you do it several times to get it “just right.”
    I’m not being rude, I remember My second Passport renewal, it had lapsed and I was fluish and feverish when I had my photo taken, and it’s haunted me for eight years.
    Have fun on your european junket.

  4. I think there’s where he touch up for a gazillion times!~ Haha. I mean that’s the biggest picture in his life, man! Passport photos… must be at least 10cm thick of foundation intact…

  5. Hey Bryan I did some endorsement of THIS very picture in my blog, not that it matters anyway but I guess I’m proud of you sriking this pose without ever feeling the sense of somebody will throw an empty bottle of beer to you.

  6. i sort of agree w/ bob george. its his parents you should hate, not him, he doesnt even know where his humerus is. good parenting is rare nowadays, they just prop their kids up in front of the tv and blame the media once they start having promiscuous sex and downing 3 painkillers every 50 minutes.

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