Grande Puta Maricona Putain de Salope
3:41PM and I just got back home from the big bad city.
My gal pal Tina D. hanged out with me at one of the embassies earlier (I’m surprised she managed to read a book whilst waiting for me… I mean, god… for her to read a book….shit man, I’m impressed!)
I got up at fucking 5AM earlier (only had 2 hours of sleep) to go to one of the embassies to pick up my visa.
I got there at around 7:30 and queued for about 2 hours. Ugh. The hassle and distress eh?
There’s this family of three – husband, wife and a 4 or 5-year old rodent, evil bitch troll son who welcomed me as soon as I entered the embassy lobby.
Guess what satan’s spawn aka rodent said?
"Oh mommy look at that fag! fag fag fag!"
How can someone so young be sooo fuckin homophobic! I swear to god, I wanted to stuff the kid inside my Balenciaga bag and throw the rodent out of the double-digit-floored window.
I don’t blame the kid though. Look at me – no decent and respectable human male would wear my little ensemble.
The parents apologised profusely but the kid was a pest.
Not contented with his verbal abuse, the little bitch lied down on the floor and used his body as if he’s a mop… he did one of those "snow angels" thing right then and there.
If only I brought my bottle of sedatives with me that 5-year old rodent would be dead by now – good ol drug overdose.
Let’s see what he’d end up in about 15 or so years.
I hope he turns out to be a faggot.
The family’s probably applying for residency at the country where I’m going so I’m 100% sure that little piece of shit will take it up the arse with white cocks before he even hits puberty.
I hope that happens.
See – I don’t look like I’m an illegal immigrant afterall. I got all the visas I wanted. Apparently it pays to be fucking beautiful, even if I look like a bloody 12 year old on that photo.
As if I’d be an illegal immigrant anyway. I live like a princess in the land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives.
NOBODY WILL DO A GOOD JOB PROMOTING THE HIGHLY FABULOUS CESSPIT/ARMPIT OF THE THIRD WORLD CALLED ‘LAS ISLAS FILIPINIANAS’.
One day… oh yes one day… set it in stone bitches… I’ll become an AMBASSADOR OF GOODWILL!
Anyway, Tina D nailed it right there when we had this conversation:
Tina D: My god, I’m so glad we were born pretty.
Me: That’s true. Beautiful people get everything in this life. Fame. Fortune. Sex.
Tina D: I can’t even imagine what it’s like to be not-pretty.
Me: You’re the only one who’s pretty, not me bitch.
Tina D: You’re pretty too… compared to them (points at random strangers)
Me: But they’re not faggoty and camp as a row of pink tents like I am. Try being a flamer for a day.
Tina D: That’s true.
We had lunch at our favourite haunt, the M Cafe, had our usual oysters, lemongrass prawns + mango salad, guava + tamarind + scallops soup and some gindara fish. Loves it!
Oh I’m the happiest heshehoochimammipapimale today!
More updates later you fucking whores.
I throwing a little dinner party tonight with some of the people who appreciate me for being me, with no judgment whatsoever – the ones whom I don’t need to explain anything cause they understand me, me and me!
I need to sleep… and I have 4 hours to do so.
I love you all.
You know where to contact me – Email firstname.lastname@example.org or SMS +63-915-785-1492.