Bryanboy LOVES Beijing

The Bryanboy HAS LANDED.

Oh yes.

After 4 agonizing (and boring) hours on the plane, this sleepless bitch from hell finally arrived in Mr. Mao’s homeland.

(I know – don’t laugh. One of my sisters told me my hair looks like a fucking christmas tree because of the highlights – copper and light brown)

And because I’m sooo fucking beautiful, the folks at the St. Regis upgraded me to a fucking suite, complete with my own sitting area, a room for my excess baggash (all 84.7 kilos of it).



I even wrote something on the plane, a couple of hours ago because I was DEAD bored.

I have never been so bored in my entire life.

It’s no fun channeling Hans Solo; this is exactly the thing I hate about traveling alone – you and nothing but you, on business class, surrounded by empty seats on the plane cabin.

The only time I opened my mouth for the past few hours was a) when breakfast was served and b) when one of the cabin crew sat down beside me and did a little, warm (and sweet) chit chat.

Other than that, man, I’m telling you, not even my ipod, books and magazines can keep me entertained.

Fine – I browsed a copy of the November issue of American GQ and yes, I got some nanoseconds’ worth of titillating visual fun thanks to some of the pictures of half-naked men with stubble.


What keeps my sanity intact though is the little screen with the map that shows where exactly you are in the world. I LOVE that screen, especially on long haul flights. Apparently we’re flying at 37,500 feet at 861 km/h with an outside temperature of -51 degrees centigrade.


Anyway, fuck you all.

Now that I’m here in Beijing, I’m off to see TIANAMEN SQUARE.

More updates later.