Bryan the Lap Dog

Written By bryanboy

Bryan the Lap Dog

From now on, I’m going to sit on people’s laps like a cheap hooker. That’s my new thing of the moment.

Nataly invited me to her gay best friend’s (Alex/Alexey) birthday dinner yesterday and boy I had so much fun. I mean, it’s not really common for somebody from the Philippines get invited to a Russian birthday party. LOL

The birthday boy and moi

The birthday boy and Nataly

It was at this simple and cozy place called "Yolki-Palki", a chain of restaurants offering home-style Russian food.

I had sooo much vodka and booze to the point where my face, my neck and my chest got soo red and flushed. I wasn’t surprised by the amount of vodka everyone had… they pretty much drink vodka like water – this is Russia afterall!




Everyone was warm and friendly. It felt as if I knew them for ages even though I only met them yesterday.

OK, OK… I was being the land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives’ official department of tourism representative. I fed these Russians wonderful stories about my homeland in the deepest, darkest cesspit of the third world. Hopefully some of them will go to the Philippines. Who knows. India and Egypt seems to be a popular destination for Russians because they, too, have this visa-visa-everywhere problem.

Anyway, it really was a nice night without pretense.  No talk of material things, fashion, luxury, wealth etc.

After last night, shit, I realized that it’s actually so much fun to be in the real world living the simple life.

But for now, I need to cure my hangover, file my nails and take my anti-anxiety pills.


P.S. Just a reminder: December 1, 2005 is the First International Armpit Hair Shaving Day. Read more about it here. Please email me,, a picture of your face and your hair-free pits. The best picture will win an award – a vintage double dildo with dog excrement skid marks.



  1. B.B. You are taking over my life! No not really, but I dreamt about you last night- weird. I came to see you, I tried on all your clothes but they wouldn’t fit me because you are a size- Nothing! Then we went shoe shopping and you talked me out of buying denim pumps- UGH! Can you imagine. Dreams are weird. Love you!

  2. Naw, I think you sit on people’s laps much more like an expensive hooker. A cheap hooker would be passed out with his/her mouth hanging open and drool spilling down his/her chin. You’ve got far more class than that. ;-)

  3. well who needs a russian hooker* when you have bryanboy!
    cant get enuff of yah!
    *disclaimer: i only mentioned russian hooker because bb is in moscow, yah know. no offense meant.

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