Armpit Hair: The Root of All Things Evil
I don’t understand why millions upon millions of men, boys and guys worldwide blatantly show their armpits whenever they get their pictures taken.
I mean… WHY?
Why oh why oh why oh why?
Especially those with armpit hair.
Armpit hair is the root of all things evil. That’s why I shave (or sometimes, wax) mine.
Nothing disgusts me than that endless strands of hair on someone’s armpits… not to mention the musky, pungent smell that comes from good ol armpit hair.
It doesn’t matter whether you take showers twice daily, use antiperspirant, use deodorant etc.
Armpit hair is still awful and disgusting.
I don’t care if it brings warmth to your bodies in the middle of the winter.
It really is not funny cuddling up to someone only to end up with your face shoved on someone’s armpits and you don’t have a choice but to INVOLUNTARILY use their armpit hair as dental floss.
Armpit hair has to be abolished on the face of this planet.
Women… or men alike.
Even for a day.
On that profound note, I am proud to present The First Annual International Armpit Hair Shaving Day.
Mark your calendars boys and girls.
On December 1, 2005, wherever you are in the world, I want you to participate by shaving your armpits.
Shave all that excess auxilliary hair that you’ve got there since god knows when.
I know I’ll be travelling during that time but what I want you to do is to send pictures of your BALD armpits.
Let’s rewind the clocks, take a ride in the time machine and go back to our prepubescent years.
Send me pictures of you and your HAIRLESS armpits on December 1, 2005. Email email@example.com.
Best armpits will win an award.
HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT THIS VERY IMPORTANT GLOBAL SHAVING EVENT. POST IT ON YOUR BLOGS, SPREAD IT TO THE MEDIA, FORWARD IT VIA TEXT/SMS/EMAILS TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW.
INCLUDING YOUR HAIRY GORILLA FATHER.
I love you all!
As always, you know where to contact me. Email firstname.lastname@example.org or SMS +63-915-785-1492.