Shockingly Straight

You Are 70% Boyish and 30% Girlish
You are pretty evenly split down the middle – a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don’t actively fight them. You’re just you. You don’t try to be what people expect you to be.

70%! That’s fuckin bollocks!

Maybe there’s a real man hidden underneath the handbags, the lip gloss, the in-your-face camping tents?

I mean, we all know that I don’t have a single ounce of masculinity in my body. I simply cannot act straight even if it were the last thing to save my life.

Like what I said before, I am so fucking gay that even gay guys are scared of me… and I’m NOT even gay!

It really is THAT bad.

What’s worse though is the fact that the only boys who probably like me are fuckin guys who think I’m a woman at first glance.

I’m not EVEN a TRANNIE for god’s sake. I don’t think of myself as a trannie or a ladyboy.

I’m just a fat boy who likes handbags, lip gloss, campy things, fur, jewelry, diamonds, accessories and other colourful stuff.

That doesn’t mean I think of myself as a girl though. I’m sure of one thing – you’ll never see me wear a dress, a bra, a wig, some panties and stillettos anytime soon. Ick, ick, ick.

I’ll never forget the time when I went to Bali when I was like 17 or something. I was dancing on some ledge in a club and then some white trash 20-something lifted the trousers I was wearing to see whether or not I’ve got hair on my leg because he couldn’t believe I’m a boy.

Anyway.

It really was a miracle, IN SPITE of sweat, makeup and all, for me to achieve a straight face err straightish self at that mini-photo shoot yesterday.

I’m telling you, this picture is probably the CLOSEST thing I’ll get to straight acting.

Go on. Feel free to have a laugh at MY expense.

Straightacting

I think I know what it was – the shoot was held in one of the most hardcore Catholic, all-male schools in the third world country, Don Bosco school. One of my mum’s cousins went to the same school although a different branch. Yep, Uncle Charlie… that’s his name.

It was fascinating indeed! Giles (who is oh-so-adorable) and I even chuckled when we saw a group of really camp (and young) boys having lunch.

Meandgiles
(god my face is HUGE!!!)

Donbosco_1 

Keep an eye out for the Philippine Daily Inquirer in the next few weeks for the entire set of photos – if they publish it, of course.I’ll scan the pictures when they get published. I think there were 6 outfits; I won’t publish any other photos because I don’t want to preempt the article. Hello confidentiality!

Clothes were made by Vurve Clothing Co. Eyewear by Yves Saint Laurent.

Twinkle Twinkle Travel

I’ve been awfully busy this week planning and preparing my Fall/Winter ’05 escapade. I’ve decided to go to China (Beijing) and Russia (Moscow) next month. I already bought my plane tickets and booked my accommodations. My travel agent has my passport because they’re processing my Chinese Visa application. Hopefully I’ll get it back soon so I can start working on the Russian side.

By the meantime, I’m still thinking whether or not to go to Estonia AND/OR Latvia. The Latvian Embassies that I called said that they’ll only accept visa appliations in-person and not via courier. I called the Latvian Embassy in Moscow and they said that they can process my visa over there.

Oh I don’t know. I know myself though – remember how I’m supposed to go to Beijing/Shanghai back in August but me and my gal pal Tina only ended up splurging our hearts out in Hong Kong? Once I’m in a certain city, all I’m gonna end up doing is procrastinate/party/shop/party/shop.

We’ll see how it goes in the next few weeks. I think I’ve got a little over a month before I’ll leave anyway.

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

Ibeatanorexia#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Leaside, Ontario, Canada, Raleigh, NC, Tavares, FL, De Banken, Holland, Santiago, Chile (that’s a new one – I love you all over there!), Jamaica, NY, Houston, TX, East Lansing, MI, East Elmhurst, NY and of course, Merredin, Western Australia. Everyone get down to your knees, worship the ground I’m standing on. Identify yourselves bitches and say hi to me – I don’t bite!

#2 – So many events, so little time. I’ve decided to stay home this week.

#3 – I have a couple new crushes and I’m not telling you who they are. My sewage-worthy potty mouth have sent me far too many roundtrip tickets to HELL in the past.

The best thing about all my previous crushes is the fact that they’re ALWAYS unattainable (in other words, the chances of them going for me is pretty much NONEXISTENT), which makes it even more exciting because they remain what they are – crushes.

#4 – Bryanboy loves Susan.. and her lips. No, erase that. I like the cash. I like them all!

Susan

#5 – Oh fuck it. Fuck being straight-acting. I’m telling y’all, my Birkin bag will definitely go with me to my grave… unless of course I hoard MORE Birkin bags before I die. Yes, I know I’m pathetic for bragging just one Birkin bag when there are probably a ton other botoxed matrons who have them in all sorts of colours, leathers etc.

Nevertheless, a trophy is still a trophy. And for a lower middle-class pretentious parrot like myself, a trophy doesn’t come often.

Backtonormal

Winner

As always, you know where to contact me – bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63-915-7851492.

Baboosh!