I’m NOT Happy…

at the moment, that is.

Sorry for the lack of updates – I’ve got sooo many things going on in my life.

I’ve NEVER been this stressed. EVER!

At least my skin’s good this week. NO breakouts whatsoever.

Blame it on the facial that I recently had. Har har.

Want Drama?

I’ll give you drama.

1. My baby bitch (literally), Daria, is really sick. In fact, she’s been sick for the past 3 days. The vet said she’s got kidney and liver problems, according to her recent blood test. She hasn’t peed since yesterday (Wednesday) – I know my pooch, she’s the crown princess of all things related to urine but for some strange reason, she hasn’t peed at ALL recently. My maid brought her to the vet (again) as I’m writing this for another check-up cause her stomach is REALLY bloated. Poor Daria.  hope she gets well soon. Thinking about her makes me want to cry – she brings so much life in this household!

2. Xerox is my best friend these days. You won’t believe the amount of time I’ve spent hanging out with the trusty old xerox machine – the paper cuts on my fingers are prima facie evidence that all I’ve been doing the past few days is handling paperwork.

Paperworkgalore

The embassies do want everything. Income tax returns, business registration documents, bank statements (HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PRODUCE BANK STATEMENTS WHEN 2 OF MY "DAY-TO-DAY" BANK ACCOUNTS… WELL, BANKS, DON’T EVEN SEND PRINTED STATEMENTS CAUSE I JUST VIEW MY TRANSACTIONS ONLINE??????? THANK GOD I HAVE THE ODD, PASSBOOK-BASED SAVINGS ACCOUNT HERE AND THERE AND I’LL JUST USE THAT INSTEAD), credit card statements, photocopies of all my passports’ stamps and visas, etc etc etc. I even asked my driver to fucking go to the National Statistics Office to get a CERTIFIED copy of my birth certificate printed on some fancy schmancy paper. I simply don’t get it – isn’t my passport and my gorgeous self enough to validate my existence?

Howthick

Obviously not cause I’m a MODEL CITIZEN of the THIRD WORLD.

You gotta love bureaucracy and red tape baby.

3. I have 19 days before I leave good ol’ Manille for my winter escapade and I’ve only sorted out 1 visa so far. I need to get 3 more tourist visas to my destinations and I only have about 2 weeks LEFT!!!!!! God knows if I get my visas in time. I may have to do some begging (so they’ll process my visa applications FAST) at the embassy.

I doubt they’ll do it though. I’m Mrs. John L. Nobody.

OHHHHH I FUCKING hate it.

The worst position next to "doggie style" is that one of being at the mercy of others.

Will my fabulous looks (yuck – go on then – make faces) and fantastic charm work with my visa interview officers/consul people so that I can fulfill my fall/winter 2005 escapade and return before Christmas?

Isthisillegal_1 

Ugh! Just tell me I don’t look like this guy/these people. (BTW, I got this pic as it is FROM google. search for "illegal immigrant". No offense to people of the coloured kind. Hello – I’m a certified gook! I know what it’s like to be on BROWN ENTERTAINMENT TELEVISION)

80436090_2 

These ones are courtesy of the BBC.

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_1159529_asylum300

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Where’s the fun in that?

The best part of travelling is going BACK HOME and all the PRETENTIOUS BRAGGING RIGHTS that come along with it. Let’s face it, anyone who fucking travels changes as soon as they get back.

"Oh darling, I went to so-and-so place, you have to go there!"
"OOOOOOOO The shopping is fantastic!"
"The food is to die for, you should go to so and so restaurant!"
"You have to see X, Y, Z"

Blah blah bullshit.

I love it though.

I’m guilty as charged.

I like to give myself a period of post-vacation bragging fun of about 2 weeks. Brag and blab to everyone I know – within a 2 week timeframe. Any bragging beyond those 2 weeks is pointless.

Funny I said that – I know of several people who keeps going on and on about where they went… even if the fact that the last time they went there was more than a DECADE ago.

Anyway, I’ll keep it "hush-hush" for now as to where I’m going.

I know I’m not supposed to buy plane tickets UNLESS the visas are approved but I’m an impatient mother fucker. I bought all my plane tickets, from one destination to the next, booked my hotels, etc. It will definitely help me budget. I know most fares go up at the last minute – it’s always better to book in advance. Besides, I *NEVER* fly economy. All my flights are on business and they’re fully changeable, refundable, etc. My losses, in the event I get denied, are gonna be miniscule.

Nevertheless, I’ll try my luck.

I mean, if I was meant to be denied, then I’ll be denied. If I was meant to be approved, then I’ll be approved. The world is such a huge place anyway. If I wasn’t meant to go to the places I want to go before Christmas, there’s always the mall.

Bah!

I’ll update later. Promise.

(Afterall, it’s my blog’s 1 year ANNIVERSARY today.)

I love you all. Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

Baboosh!