Au Revoir Paris, Privet MOCKBA!

Written By bryanboy

Au Revoir Paris, Privet MOCKBA!

I believe that everything happens for a reason. Call me crazy if you want but I also believe in "signs".

If something is meant for me, then it really is meant for me.

The universe will drop subtle hints and give me signs so I’ll make the right decision.

Otherwise I wouldn’t be standing wherever I’m standing right now… with no regrets whatsoever about my life.

How insightful eh?

On that note, look at what I got in the mail on my weekly FedEx shipment from my office.


Isn’t it a sign?

A sign for me to go to where people "sing ra-ra-rasputin, lover of bryan the queen" and wear my new Hermes parka?


There are no more 1-bedroom suites left at Hotel Costes, Hotel Bel-Ami and Hotel Ritz at the time when I want to go to Paris so why even bother. There’s no more availability even at cheap but chic Hotel Pershing Hall, a hotel recommended by one of my acquaintances in Londres.

Isn’t that a sign too?

It’s gonna be Fashion week at the world’s fashion capital for god’s sake, not to mention the lack of time for me to get a Schengen Visa. 3 weeks left… oi!

If Monsieur Jacques Chirac or HE Ambassador Gérard CHESNEL personally invites my third world ass to spend my money in Paris, closed the Catacombs and provide a bed in the middle of all those bones so I can sleep at night (I’ll even pay for the bed!), then perhaps I’ll change my mind and reconsider.


But for now, it’s going to be au revoir Louis Vuitton event and Zdrastvuite MOCKBA for me.

I will have to make that dreaded phone call to LV’s brand manager later today, apologize and decline her invitation.

My god, this is going to be worse than breaking up with a guy.

I’m kinda heart-broken and I’m sure it will pass.

Afterall, the mental picture of my cute Russian friends teaching me how to snowboard is already giving me an orgasm.

I think I’m gonna bid goodbye to the LV invite in person. I’m gonna drag my Yves Saint Laurent boots (in my little walk of shame) to Vuitton later today anyway because she told me to pick up my invites for the Moon Cake Festival/Event (?). I might even comfort myself by going shopping (if there’s something new) and tip toe my way into the retail therapy waters.

I reserved a maroon/plum-coloured velvet scarf and I’ll purchase it today along with whatever fancies my eye.

Ooooooooooo I hate myself.

Bryanboy Loves and Random Cheesemax

#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Piscataway, NJ, Long Beach, CA, Haag, Germany, Oberlin, OH, Las Vegas, NV, Eklanda, Sweden, Mountainville, NY and Tacoma, WA. Big hugs and kisses from the fabulous third world y’all. Identify yourselves bitches by posting a comment on my blog.

#2 – It’s been a while since I posted proper (and decent) photos of myself. I’ll make sure my paparazzo takes a ton of pics later today when I go out. My best friend Kelly is back from hibernation and my Birkin bag needs major mileage.

#3 – Big hello to all my fans in Saudi Arabia. Thanks for the text messages. I love you all!

#4 – Identify yourself mystery caller! I received a call from an unidentified dialing object but hanged up before I answered.

#5 – Yeah, as if this is new. Hello, this blonde bitch has been feasting on mussels and flaps since god knows when.


As always, send your messages of love and hate to Text messages (and calls – if the weather permits) are also accepted at +63-915-785-1492.

I love you all!


P.S. Sing with me… 1, 2, 3. Ra Ra Rasputin Lover of Bryan the Kween… there was a Vuitton invite that really was gone. Ra Ra Rasputin, Bryan’s the third world love machine, it was shame how he carried on.


  1. You and that Birkin are just TOO FABULOUS! It reminds me of Little Kim and her Birkin, as she would say “Werqin that Birkin Hermes bag..”

  2. Joydarling

    I love the fact you made a decision. Or maybe the fact it was made for you. I’m sorry about your panic attack earlier. You are to glamorous for stress! And the Hermes jacket= Love.

  3. die in hell

    if you’re a fabulous superstar as you claim to be then why don’t you have connections at your french embassy who can expedite your visa request? you’re a WANNABE WANNABE WANNABE. stay where you are because nobody wants your disgusting asian ass. france doesn’t like Asians! die in hell bitch!

  4. die in hell

    your passport is as awful as your face you chink. haha your bags are fake and you are fake. you only take pictures of items but you never actually wear them or what you wear is fake. go to hell you fresh from the boat gook. go back hooking. france italy america even russia doesnt want YOU.

  5. Tsk. Die in hell. Another sad coward who refuses to put his real name. Obviously jealous and probably Filipino himself. Tsk.
    Buy some caviar at Seventh Continent for me while you’re there won’t you?
    And perhaps a fur hat at GUM.

  6. You are better off anyhow…
    The French are assholes. And you can get anything you want for the right price in Russia…
    Can you visit Lenin for me when you are there??? I want a picture of his everlasting corpse…

  7. Follow the signs.
    I read your blogs all the way back from October 2004 and I can see in your eyes that you were blissful in Russia. You seem to a tad happier.
    If you swing by NYC, I would love to meet you. Let’s hug it out, bitch! So there. I have finally revealed myself.
    Thank you for being my daily caffeine.

  8. really, brian…I’d love to have your problems…so should you happen to find things quite a wee bit unbearable, just throw them over to me…

  9. To “die in hell” even actors and celebrities have to line up at French Embassy you dork! It’s an SOP to line up and wait, unless you are a senator, a congressman, an ambassador, an attache, a consul, the President of the Phils, or immediate relatives of the aforementioned or if you are carrying a diplomatic passport. Really, France doesnt like Asians? Says who? Without the Asian Market, France’s economy will go down the drain.
    Now get a life!

  10. ya hochu vzyat ti voyu huy!
    i dont know what that means, my friend told me it was russian or somthing..teehehee

  11. NooooOooOooooo….
    Please go to Paris.
    I am living vicariously through you and I NEEEEEED you to tell us how fabulous the party was. Please!

  12. LucasMucas

    Hey Bryan
    I love your site – I check it everyday!
    I know what you mean about Portia De Rossi – my sister is friends with a friend of her ex gf – the fashion designer… can’t remember her name.
    Keep up the good work!
    Loves it!

  13. hey, i’ve only recently discovered your site but i have to say that you have a gorgeous mouth! i’m so jealous of your lips!
    also, how could you think of sleeping in the catacombs?! when i went, i freaked out and like started crying. that place is horrible! i’m sure france will miss you, but enjoy that hot parka. <3
    p.s. the girls at handbag_fetish on livejournal love you!

  14. Coming from Washington DC area, I LOVE YOU Bryanboy!!!
    Hermes jacket …. *drooooooling on my keyboard*
    BTW, the person that wrote you have gorgeous lips was ON POINT…. you always look like a model in your pictures.
    You have an 800 number?! :)

  15. I have a really stupid question: what does pansexual mean? educate me bryanboy! i love you!

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