Public Service Announcement: Meet the Elephant

Written By bryanboy

Back to Business

It’s back to business for me. As much as I want to think I’m still travelling, this bitch has got to do a reality check and start living his normal life.

On that note, let me do a public service announcement for those of you who are planning to fly via Philippine Airlines in the future. I hope whoever owns Philippine Airlines read this and/or any Philippine Airlines staffers/workers and such.

You see, the reason why I fly business class even on 1 hour and 40 minute flights is to separate myself from farm animals – cattle, sheep, goats, chickens – whenever I fly. I would rather pay premium money to ensure a comfortable flying experience: comfy seats, tons of space, pillows, blankets, etc than say be surrounded by unnecessary noise. It’s very rare for a screaming child to exist on business class rather than where mere mortals go to.

But the flight from Manila to Hongkong was one of the worst flights I’ve ever been in my entire life.

I like Philippine Airlines. Don’t get me wrong. The service is good. The staff is friendly. Everything is just great.

Yet there is this one man who wrecked that experience. Make that two because it takes 2 to tango.

Take a look at the elephant on this photo.

The man with the pregnant tummy had a mouth as big as his gut.


All throughout the flight, his voice can be heard from where we sat (seat 1K) right through the back of the plane.

He did NOT spare anyone in the flight some silence.

In his conversation with the other guy, he uttered all sorts of profanity in both the English and Filipino dictionaries.

What’s worse is the fact that this elephant is probably an airline/airport employee who only got upgraded… or worse, a free flyer… hitchhiker of the skies.

Every once in a while I’ll sit up straight to see the looks of everyone else’s faces near our seats and you can tell everyone wanted to try to sleep but they can’t because of this man.

I’m sure Judy Ann Santos, who is some big local actress in my country, who, btw, sat behind us, probably also had her ears wrecked by these elephants.

My friend and I tried to drop "subtle" hints, such as asking the stewardess whether they have EAR PLUGS or not – they don’t… not on short flights.

It was pure torture I’m telling you.

These 2 men sat at seat 1C and 1A, Sunday August 28, 2005, flight PR300, 8:00AM.

If you know anyone who works at Philippine Airlines, please print this post and ensure the elephant won’t fly again. Get him fired, get him roasted. Put him in a cage or better yet, send him to a fucking circus.

I just don’t want to see him ever again.



  1. VapidVoyr

    I feel your pain – I had an 8hr flight from U.S. to Paris – overnight – with a bitch reading behind me with her light shining directly into my eyes the whole flight. I couldn’t sleep a wink and ended up putting a curse on her. Love your site. We’ll have better luck next time – or someone will die.

  2. chemical romance

    i know someone who works for PAL. she’s in charge of choosing who’s gonna get upgraded to business class… my family and I actually got upgraded to Mabuhay lounge because we know her. she usually upgrade people she knows.. kaya maraming sipsip sa kanya! I’m gonna ask her..hehe

  3. Ick. I hate those passengers who have absolutely no consideration for the other people. I always go to Canberra when I have the chance to and there will always be excessively noisy and annoying people on the plane and it’s usually just a 45 minute flight so no excuse for headphones and the likes.
    I’m absolutely loving your Hong Kong tell tales. Makes me wanna splurge splurge SPLURGE NOW!!

  4. AndiePandy

    Congrats on the Birkin – it’s way hot and I’m jealous – and just be thankful that pregnant belly elephant man didn’t have a screaming brat accompanying him ;)
    P.S. Loving you from Toronto, Canada!

  5. Why didn’t you tell those guys to shut the fuck up?! I would have. That kind of thing really does ruin a flight.

  6. I am sorry to hear that this damn Pachyderm ruined your flight with his incessant babbling. You say that he and his companion sat in seats 1A and 1C, what about 1B? Was he so fat, that they needed three seats between them? There should be an unspoken “Quiet” rule on business flights, kind of like at the library. Everyone should just *know* to STFU.

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