Queen of Tactful Tack
Good afternoon bitches. Buy the Philippine Star – quick! There’s a lovely article written with me on it. Although the powers that be censored the thing (of course, it’s one of the country’s top 2 daily newspapers – I doubt they’ll publish anything in true blue profanity-infected-and-infested Bryanboy style), I have to say I love it. The people at Star are good — everyone go hail them. Click the graphic below for the full-sized version.
Despite not getting a full page printed shrine dedicated to my glorious self, I got HALF of a page, which isn’t bad at all. At least it ain’t a 1 column inch printed at the "Prostitutes for Rent" or something whatever classifieds section. I’m very very happy. Gotta love the illustration, too.
I wished they published my true secret for success.
"No such thing as super powers babe. I ain’t Nuclear Wintour as of yet. My key to success is excess and bulimia. Feed your soul, your heart and your mouth with as many things as you can digest – extremities, food, booze, fashion, travel, partying, people, everything. As soon as you get home, all you need to do is to do is to sit down in front of a Lalique bowl, stick two or three fingers up your throat and then purge it all out.
*No offense intended, of course, for those who have eating disorders. Bulimia is the only word I can think of to describe what I want to say."
At least they printed my "desperate to BECOME a housewife" plea.
That’s supposed to be:
"I need a gorgeous, eye-candy type, sober, stable, independent male (or female) flatmate so I can move out of my hellhole parent’s birdcage soon. Please be fabulous. Please be fun. And please be fantastic. No under the sheets obligation required. I just want it to be completely platonic… ok… I want it kind of like a mini version of the Big Brother House. I don’t want to be spend my weekday evenings alone on my own inside my future pad. Send me a message or call me. Lines are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week: +63-915-785-1492 or email email@example.com.
Otherwise, I’ll just patiently wait for the movie offers, the book deals, the magazine contributing editorships, the TV commercials, the drama series, the handbag lines, the fragrance launches, the flopped nightclub and restaurant offers as I blog my way to fabdom."
Thanks, Naz (Queen Noor) for the great write up. Don’t y’all love it? I do! Now back to our usual programming…
I finally dragged my lazy, long-haired ass to the salon yesterday and got a haircut. I’ve been procrastinating for far too long on my ebony locks. Yes I need another lipodissolve session again. My arms are fucking enormous now. Don’t you dare make fun of my batwings.
I then went to People’s Palace for a quick snack and to meet Gian to return his CDs. Thursday nights are his nights – he spins at the Manila DJ Club for his weekly Fluxxe party.
Apres People’s Palance, I went to Tina’s house because Gian has to spin for his party.
There was a "Youthopia" party thrown by Pond’s (yes, Pond’s as in Pond’s – you know, the stuff that you use on your face/body/whatever that you can get from the supermarket) but Tina and I decided not to go there… we sorta wanted a quiet/relaxed night out. We went to Cuisine (at Embassy) to meet a couple of friends for drinks and chit chat.
We then went to Manila DJ Club (it’s my first time). Finally… after not going to Gian’s Fluxxe party (it’s been running for a couple of weeks now), I finally showed up. It was fun. It was scary at first because the first thing that greets you right in the parking area (they have valet) is ROCK and I mean hardcore ROCK music – there’s a couple of rooms, I think and then an outside patio/balcony area. Everything was fine after going upstairs to Gian’s room. The music’s alright – it’s definitely a different crowd compared to our usual haunts – it’s refreshing to an extent – it’s all good.
We cut our night short – it’s a weekday afterall. You know how rare… extremely rare… for me to go out during the weekdays.
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
#1 – Bryanboy loves people from the state of Kansas (shit they have internet there?), Sacramento & Beverly Hills, CA and folks from (again) Melbourne, Australia.
#2 – I’ve finally flushed you down the toilet bowl along with my used tampon. I should have done that 10 years ago, right when I started getting my monthly period.
#3 – A desperate person can never have too much love. Send me more love – again – no photoshopped pictures please. Get a fuckin piece of paper and tell me you love me. Take a picture of it and email firstname.lastname@example.org. That’s how FUCKING easy it is.
Validate my fucking existence.
Everyone has a god damn camera this these days. Digital cameras, webcams, even most phones now have cameras. I’ve created a photo album where I’ll post all the love… and manna from heaven. Just give me and my assistant some time to compile and crop them to a reasonable size etc.
As always, feel free to contact me. You have my digits, you have my email address.
P.S. I love you all!