A gag order is worse than a blowjob gag reflex.

Written By bryanboy

Gag Reflex vs Gag Orders

As someone who has dealt with enough species of the male human kind, let me tell you upfront that the only thing worse than a blowjob gag reflex is a self-issued gag order.

Not too long ago, I remember being asked this (ok, perhaps not with the same verbiage) question several times:

“Do you ever feel pressure that you have to satisfy your readers with content?”

I’ve always been consistent with my answer.

NO, I’ve never felt any pressure from anyone or any outside forces of nature whatsoever. My blog has always been some sort of a sperm/blood bank of my personal purges – I flush whatever it is that I see/feel during a certain time.

I don’t give a flying fuckahontas about what people think. Some people (thank god) get “it”, whatever it is… and some people don’t.

It’s my little corner of the world wide web and it’s all about me – me, me and me.

Let’s face it, why the heck would I even attempt to satisfy readers when my short-term priority is to satisfy myself first amongst others, make myself happy and live how I want to live?

Perhaps I should state the unobvious: I do, to an extent, get a certain amount of personal satisfaction when I “unknowingly”, without any effort on my part, make other people happy – in other words, I just do what I want to do, say what I say, like it has always been, and whenever there are people coming up to me, telling me that I make them happy, I’m happy.

One loyal reader even pointed out, in person (oh yes), that the best thing she likes about me is the fact that I don’t do bullshit. I’m just “out there”, pouring out whatever it is I want to pour out.

Fuck what everyone else thinks.

Ah, the mantra we all would like to live by. You’ll probably get that ‘impression’ the first time you see me. I think this is how I’ve lived after all these years. Without that lucky phrase, god knows how I’ll survive in a country whose society lives by the “This is How We Do Things Handbook of Life”.

Over the weekend, I opened up to a couple of friends on how things are taking a turn recently.

A person can only take so much flak before he/she reaches a breaking point.

I think I’ve reached that point already.

After seeing/hearing negativity, I couldn’t help being affected by such crap.

I genuinely admire those, who over time, develop some sort of a ‘numbing shield’ to such negativity. I’ve had that numbing shield for years but like what I said, it does break down at one point.

I know there is no way we can please everyone. Oh yes. It’s just impossible. Besides, why should anyone try to please everyone.

But then again, for some strange reason, I have this little (fuck yeah), little teeny voice hiding inside my esophagus that screams ala Ashlee Simpson that says that I don’t want to offend anyone either.

Acid reflux anyone?

One friend said that instead of being affected by crap, you use that negativity away and let it inspire you to do things better.

But doesn’t that translate that you have to change yourself?

Doesn’t it mean that you’re giving up a certain part of yourself/your personality just to satisfy others?

Bottom line: doesn’t it mean that you eventually DID get affected by such negativity?

Another friend said that I should just plain blank ignore the crap and just do things MY WAY. How I should never, ever, ever change myself despite anything.

That’s the sort of answer that I have in my head. And that’s what I’m more inclined to do.

There are just so many things I’d like to whine and write about but my self-issued gag order prohibits me from blowing the whistle and sing Scooby-scooby-doo-where-are-you?

Enough rambling. I think we’re going in circles. I can’t even say what I want to say in an eloquent manner.

I’d love to hear what you think. Feel free to post comments or as always, email bryanboy@gmail.com. If you really, really love me, send me an SMS message: +63-915-785-1492.

To be honest, I think I’d rather settle for the lesser evil. I’ll suck a cock instead of giving myself a gag order. Any offers?



  1. the problem with a numbing filter/shield is that when push comes to shove, you realize that you are affected which is why you have a shield in the first place. i choose to be numb, but i really hate having to go home after a night out because i’m gonna have to think about what i’ve done and said and what people are gonna say about me.
    it’s easy not to care, but after doing for so long you kinda realize how fucked up it is.
    whatever, i guess it’s better to know your flaws and choose to be hard instead of being an oblivious fool.

  2. It is my first time to comment. I think that people who say negative stuff about you should just shove it up their ___. Just live your life the way you want to. These people do not have to read you and why are they reading you if they don’t like you anyway? Tell them to make their own blog or better yet do something exciting in their lives instead of making nasty condescending comments on your blog. As long as you’re not hurting anyone, feel free about living your life the way you want to.

  3. Remember before you please other people you must first please yourself. If people don’t like the way you run things, they can take their snotty little noses and shove it up their asses. The only opinion that should matter to you is your own, and the people who genuinely care about you.

  4. I have quietly read your blog for a fornight or so and have experienced a whole gamut of emotions while perusing your virtual corner of the world. Here’s my mantra I want to share with you:
    That said, here’s sumthin sumthin to meditate on:
    Meditation means the art of being alone.
    And Love means the art of being with people, the art of being together.
    But Meditation comes first.
    — Tishan

  5. “We seem…to listen to everyone, to be upset by every unkind word and sarcastic observation. We fail to ask ourselves the cardinal and most consoling question: on what basis has this dark censure been made? We treat with equal seriousness the objections of the critic who has thought rigorously and honestly and those of the critic who has acted out of misanthropy and envy.” — Alain de Botton, The Consolations of Philosophy
    Simply put, being able to differentiate honest, truthful and constructive criticisms from scathing attacks out of plain envy or inferiority complex will help you filter the bad feelings indefinitely (with ease).
    Stay fabulous as always! :)

  6. I’m glad you don’t care if something might offend someone on the site and say whats on your mind. If you tried not to offend anyone, then this site would not be as fun and humorous, that’s why I say: I love your site and I will keep coming back as long as you offend me.

  7. I like using the numb factor. I don’t let others brother me when they are clearly trying to bring me down. I’m sorry but I like being happy. You gotta watch out for number one = you. Do what makes you happy, besidse, those mean people wish they could be as fabulous as you! Hollaaaa gossipgirl.

  8. fuck what everyone else thinks. it’s your site, your corner of the internet, and hell, of all things you paid for it! screw everyone else who thinks otherwise. if they think its offensive in any way, then they shouldn’t access this site. it’s kinda stupid for people to read something that they’re clearly against.
    R E S P E C T B R Y A N B O Y P E O P L E!
    after all, he’s fucking hot.

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