More Max Factor, Calorification, Trash Reads, Calling Dr. Love, Fluxe it!, Tatsuro Ito

Written By bryanboy

Yes, Bryanboy was watching CNN just now… and waves *hello* to Max Foster.

Maxfactor

Bah. While waiting for John & Jessica’s trash book recommendation from Amazon.com, I popped by my local bookstore yesterday night after consuming a 12 ounce steak at my mom’s birthday dinner party.

Yep folks, that’s right. 12 ounces of whatever steak. I had so much calories yesterday from the soup, from the salad, from the vegies, from the meat, from the skewered thingies I shared with my dad, the prawn thing I nibbled on etc.

All that calorification is enough to put

the entire population of Ethiopia to obesity.

As soon as I got home, I downed my benzos to knock me off. I don’t even want to think how I’m gonna digest the damn thing considering I was almost PUKING when I got out of the Steak House.

Anyway, there wasn’t anything to buy in the bookstore so I decided to stock up on a couple of trash mags. They’ve ran out of V. They’ve ran out of W. They’ve ran out of Wallpaper*. They’ve ran out of British Vogue, which is the only Vogue I like. The August Philippine Tatler ain’t out yet.

Trashmags

So I settled for Hello, In Touch, Star, American Vogue, American Elle and 2 books: The Hookup Handbook (A Single Girl’s Guide to Living It Up) and My Friend Leonard.

Don’t you just love it when Bryanboy is IN TOUCH with his lower middle class roots?

Calling Dr. Love

I love fan mail. I really do. I read and reply to them as many as possible when I have the time. That’s because I love each and everyone of you. Heck, if only I could give you sexual favours, I would. But you know I live in the third world and it pretty much involves a plane ride on seat 2A to meet up with y’all.

Yes, I’ve only had 4 long-term relationships/ex-boyfriends. Yes, I’ve slept with around 390 males from Reykjavik to Bangkok and Moscow to Bali, most of them recorded on my Smythson of Bond Street litte black book. And yes, I’ve been with 7 females.

However, may I request that you avoid asking me questions about love and relationships? Well, I don’t mind them. Seriously. But when I get advice ala Teen/YM Magazine, my head goes into a rush and it pretty much drives my mere 2 brain cells crazy.

On that note, meet Julia. She sent me the following email. Actually, that’s just one of it. The rest of it were pretty much "forwarded" emails between her and the guy. Take a peek at what she sent me. Julia, I hope you don’t mind. Why settle for one opinion (mine) when you can possibly have many?

So my dear blog readers, help this young ‘un out. You know you want to.

Julia

Julia my dear, here’s my advice: DITCH HIM. Stop talking to him. Get him out of your system. Have you not heard of the saying "purge, purge, purge"? You shouldn’t be the one quasi-begging guys to get serious with you, it should be the other way around. IMO, I think he’s just a mind fuck. Stop dealing with people who clearly don’t know what they want.

You know what I do with mind fucks? I flush them out of my system like I flush evian (I only use evian) when I douche.

Sorry if I come across as harsh but I think that’s the best advice I can give my dear.

Fluxe it! Whatever

Thursday nights at the Manila DJ Club at Fort Bonifacio, Global City. It’s right across shell and 7-11. Music by Spoonmao, Adrian Cuenca and guest DJs.

If you’re in the cesspit of the Third World, Manila, Philippines, please pop by tomorrow for some electro/pop/punk/rock/80s/kitsch fun. I’m going there tomorrow and I still don’t have an outfit!

Tatsuro Ito

When I went to Hong Kong, I discovered (and bought) a couple of pieces from a Japanese Young Designer called "Tatsuro Ito". He got this thing about customizing bags with patches from Charlie Brown/Snoopy Etc, add crystals and faux gems, etc. I bought his take on the good ol Birkin but sadly, I’ve used it once. I found no use for it because the straps are kind shoulder-lengthy and you know how I only like HAND bags. Shoulder bags are just too… erm… feminine.

Tatsuro_2

Tatsurodetail

This bag has 6 patches on it, crystals, a sequined applique. It’s made of gray, distressed, curduroy-like denim with houndstooth-like prints. The photos doesn’t do it justice, however it’s gorgeous. If I ever ue it again, I’ll have my paparazzi take pics of it in broad sunlight. It’s a bag that I promise only YOU will have. Ok, perhaps if you’re not in Asia. However, I’ve only seen one gal with a similar bag where I live. But nevertheless, there’s only one of this piece since each is customized. If you’re interested in buying it, I’ll sell it for US$750. Price is negotiable. Email bryanboy@gmail.com if you have questions. That’s just one item off my soon-to-open mini emporium of my old wares. ;)

Now you know why I could never get guys for myself. I’m soooo camp and gay! But seriously, I’m bisexual. Hah Bloody Hah.

Baboosh!

P.S. Bryanboy loves people from Australia, Neiman Marcus, CloseLandArch and Louisville, KY!

19 Comments

  1. That’s how OUTDATED i am when it comes to youth culture.
    I’m an old fart!
    I spent my childhood years reading Teen Beat, YM and Sweet Valley Kids/Twins/High/Uni!

  2. Hi Bryan… help me with the Netflix thing.. how do you got the international subscription ? Im a big fan… please let me know !

  3. Delilah Valentine

    I agree Bryanboy. Julie, you need to fucking forget about him. Guys with issues are a hot mess, and nothing but extra baggage. We can do bad enough on our own, we don’t need fuck faces coming into our lives making things a 100x worst. Anyway, Bryan, you definitely, DEFINITELY need to pick up a copy of Jenna Jameson’s “How To Make Love Like A Porn Star,” if you haven’t already. It’s my favorite book ever, cause you know I love these lil slut muffins. (IE. her and Britney Spears)… It’s a good book and I could relate, and I’m sure you can as well. That news guy is a little cute. I do wonder if he takes it up the ass. Hmm….
    Delilah Valentine

  4. I don’t want Max to take it up the ass — I want HIM to GIVE IT TO ME up MY ass!
    I’m still watching (and recording) CNN Today with the hopes of him saying Hi.
    I emailed them…. and they looked at my site.

  5. Delilah Valentine

    You crazy ass!! I fucking love it. I hope they give you a shout out. I’m into the whole video editing shit as well, but I’ve never gotten into taking stuff directly off tv and putting it onto the computer.
    I wonder if he sux c0ck :P I bet he does!
    .. I’m done putting delilah valentine at the end, if people want to see me and what I write they can read the fucking link at the bottom of the message. kay, thanks!

  6. hey, cool bag! I don’t have 750 bucks but if I beg for it, would you give it to me? ;p

  7. My advice to the girl: ditch the guy. He’s not worth it. It came across to me that the guy is an “online” crush of hers? IDK, she never really seemed to mention ever MEETING with him, etc. Either way, you’re 16..go out and have fun! Don’t waste your time with some loser who has “issues”.
    The bag’s hot

  8. hey guys….wow i definately wasn’t expecting my email to be posted on the sight…but thanks for all of your opinions! and no, t’s not an internet-only thing. we were originally friends. THANKS!
    love you all
    xo

  9. Ungh, unfortunately, I live in Omaha, NEBRASKA (aka bumfuck Egypt) and never get to see Max. Bummer, eh?
    Andresen Cooper will just have to do, even though he’s like 40; 23 years my senior. Well hey, if Katie Holmes can do it…

  10. Oh Bryanboy, how I absolutely adore you! Seriously!! Your blogs are absolutely hilarious, your site is at the top of my favourites. &Yes, Max Foster is hothothot! I thought I was the only one who thought so, lol. Anyway, Julie or whatever, needs to get rid of the guy, why go and run after some guy, Honey, the guys should be running after you! Not vice versa.

  11. You are really living the life. Please let us know what do you do for a living? I see a lot of people asking all the time. Let us know.

  12. I LOVE YOU.
    Seriously, you are amazing.
    I wanted to humbly let you know that you can foist some of your advice-seeking fans off on me, I write an advice column called Miss Information.
    In utter awe of your fabulousness,
    erin

  13. love the bag and peanuts….seriously Julia, the “issues” thing means he has another girl on the line. Ditch him!

  14. lisalovetotravel

    Hey Bryanboy just came upon your website.I love it! I am an asian american originally from Louisville,Kentucky and just wondering why you liked people from there so much.

  15. lisalovetotravel

    Hmm by the way I used to make stuff like that..even better than that. I would love to design a bag for you because you are so fab. Free if you promise to carry it around for awhile.. : ) I promie to make it a handbag!

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