I NEED TO STOP SMOKING.

Can I ask a favor? Please? My chest hurts from all the chain smoking that I’ve been doing and I need someone… or a group of people to bug, harass, stalk me by all means possible, email, instant messenger, text messages, blog comments, whatever.

bryanboy@gmail.com

At least for the next 24 hours. Please?

At this rate I’d probably be like good ol Nan Kempner and die of emphysema before I say the word fabulous.

Goddessnan
(Love you Nan, I really do. I’ll be just like you when I get older)

Fabulous.

Fabulous.

Still alive.

Gawd, I didn’t expect to ellicit a couple of responses from my little closeted faggot post. In fact, I even spent an entire hour talking to a closeted fag from the land of Starbucks, Seattle, WA.

He kept on and on and on and on how he’d rather stay in the closet and live a double-sided life than come out of the closet. The insensitive son of a bitch is in his early 30s, married, have 2 kids but ocassionally plays with men "on the side".

He claims it’s pointless that he comes out because it has no relevance on his life.

Fine.

But when you’re fuckin married… and cheating on yer wife… I mean come on. That’s just harsh and bloody damn insensitive.

And you know how dirty some faggots can be. STDs and all that crap… passing it to your wife.

IMO, he’s not only fooling himself, not only he’s fooling his wife, his kids, and everyone else around him, he’s also USING them to cover up his inhibitions.

I dunno. He does have a good argument though — his sexuality really, is nobody else’s business except his. I didn’t have an answer for that.

*plays drama music*

Let’s go back to the Bryanboy Life Archives shall we?

Lifearchives_1

A couple of years ago, I used to see this guy who was confused sexually. We started off as friends until things got heated up. Yes, he claimed he was straight – at least publicly. But when we were together, he was like "confused".

And before you start speculating, no, I didn’t convert the bastard.

He was such a drug junkie. On drugs, he was all you know — deranged. May god bless his soul wherever he is. Drugs or no drugs, I thought he was sweet. There was something about that guy that made me attracted to him and fall in love with.

I’ll never, ever, ever forget the time when he flew to London (where I was) to spend the weekend together. After 3 days of hanging out, we got soo hooked on each other. On the taxi way back to Luton airport, we held hands to the point where our hands were just utterly utterly sweaty and just cried.

Luton
(Luton Airport… oh the memories…)

At the airport, same thing. We were on a cafe, just sat there waiting for his flight, looking at each other’s eyes, poured our eyes out, saying we’ll miss each other blah blah blah. It was mushy mushy galore. The bond we had was unexplainable.

For about a month, we’ve taken turns each weekend to see each other. Either he goes to London or I fly to Edinburgh.

He was a totally different person when I was in Edinburgh. Especially when I met his friends at this pub. Oh god. The most surreal experience ever and I won’t even talk about it here.

But yeah, he was just a total mind fuck. I’ve chalked it up to experience. Never again I’ll deal with anyone with excess baggage. It’s not even Vuitton or Goyard for fuck’s sake.

When it comes to a guy, yes, a guy… I’ll never, ever, ever, ever deal with anyone who is "sexually confused", "i’m gay but i’m not out to anyone" and "i’m gay but i’m only out with friends and not to family".

Never again. It’s either you’re out or forget about it.

BRYAN IS REALLY BISEXUAL

God, after all that faggot drama, I had this nagging feeling to tell that I am really bisexual. It’s funny how everyone assumes I’m gay. Well, I can’t help it — I am so gay that I even scare gay guys off.

That’s alright though. I don’t care and I don’t give a fuck.

I like boys. I like girls. Perhaps I like boys more than, say, girls, but when I see a girl that I really really like, then bam! I’m not one of those disgusting members of the male species who claim they’re "bisexual" to cover up their membership to enchanted gaydom.

This "I’m bisexual but all I do is suck cock" attitude is rampant in the Filipino scene.

How VOMIT inducing. It’s purge galore at its finest.

Vomit

You know who you are.

Fuckin wankers saying they’re bisexual to cover up their glittered assholes when all they want really is a cock up their throats and that’s about it.

Ugh my blood is boiling.

I need my rivotril and I’m off to bed.

Baboosh for now.

P.S. Scottish guy if you’re reading this (hopefully not), thanks for teaching me a lesson. Really. I did love you at that time. I probably still do, I mean, I think the feelings are still there, in a way. Bah. That’s why I’ve blocked you on MSN.  God knows whether you’ve blocked me too. Anyway, on the extremely rare opportunity that I see you online, everything flashes back as if it happened yesterday. Ugh. But seriously, thanks for everything and being part of my life.

Enough drama. Let’s all be fabulous!

Sweet dreams to myself.

xx