Stalkers Wanted, Closeted Faggots (Part 2)

Written By bryanboy


Can I ask a favor? Please? My chest hurts from all the chain smoking that I’ve been doing and I need someone… or a group of people to bug, harass, stalk me by all means possible, email, instant messenger, text messages, blog comments, whatever.

At least for the next 24 hours. Please?

At this rate I’d probably be like good ol Nan Kempner and die of emphysema before I say the word fabulous.

(Love you Nan, I really do. I’ll be just like you when I get older)



Still alive.

Gawd, I didn’t expect to ellicit a couple of responses from my little closeted faggot post. In fact, I even spent an entire hour talking to a closeted fag from the land of Starbucks, Seattle, WA.

He kept on and on and on and on how he’d rather stay in the closet and live a double-sided life than come out of the closet. The insensitive son of a bitch is in his early 30s, married, have 2 kids but ocassionally plays with men "on the side".

He claims it’s pointless that he comes out because it has no relevance on his life.


But when you’re fuckin married… and cheating on yer wife… I mean come on. That’s just harsh and bloody damn insensitive.

And you know how dirty some faggots can be. STDs and all that crap… passing it to your wife.

IMO, he’s not only fooling himself, not only he’s fooling his wife, his kids, and everyone else around him, he’s also USING them to cover up his inhibitions.

I dunno. He does have a good argument though — his sexuality really, is nobody else’s business except his. I didn’t have an answer for that.

*plays drama music*

Let’s go back to the Bryanboy Life Archives shall we?


A couple of years ago, I used to see this guy who was confused sexually. We started off as friends until things got heated up. Yes, he claimed he was straight – at least publicly. But when we were together, he was like "confused".

And before you start speculating, no, I didn’t convert the bastard.

He was such a drug junkie. On drugs, he was all you know — deranged. May god bless his soul wherever he is. Drugs or no drugs, I thought he was sweet. There was something about that guy that made me attracted to him and fall in love with.

I’ll never, ever, ever forget the time when he flew to London (where I was) to spend the weekend together. After 3 days of hanging out, we got soo hooked on each other. On the taxi way back to Luton airport, we held hands to the point where our hands were just utterly utterly sweaty and just cried.

(Luton Airport… oh the memories…)

At the airport, same thing. We were on a cafe, just sat there waiting for his flight, looking at each other’s eyes, poured our eyes out, saying we’ll miss each other blah blah blah. It was mushy mushy galore. The bond we had was unexplainable.

For about a month, we’ve taken turns each weekend to see each other. Either he goes to London or I fly to Edinburgh.

He was a totally different person when I was in Edinburgh. Especially when I met his friends at this pub. Oh god. The most surreal experience ever and I won’t even talk about it here.

But yeah, he was just a total mind fuck. I’ve chalked it up to experience. Never again I’ll deal with anyone with excess baggage. It’s not even Vuitton or Goyard for fuck’s sake.

When it comes to a guy, yes, a guy… I’ll never, ever, ever, ever deal with anyone who is "sexually confused", "i’m gay but i’m not out to anyone" and "i’m gay but i’m only out with friends and not to family".

Never again. It’s either you’re out or forget about it.


God, after all that faggot drama, I had this nagging feeling to tell that I am really bisexual. It’s funny how everyone assumes I’m gay. Well, I can’t help it — I am so gay that I even scare gay guys off.

That’s alright though. I don’t care and I don’t give a fuck.

I like boys. I like girls. Perhaps I like boys more than, say, girls, but when I see a girl that I really really like, then bam! I’m not one of those disgusting members of the male species who claim they’re "bisexual" to cover up their membership to enchanted gaydom.

This "I’m bisexual but all I do is suck cock" attitude is rampant in the Filipino scene.

How VOMIT inducing. It’s purge galore at its finest.


You know who you are.

Fuckin wankers saying they’re bisexual to cover up their glittered assholes when all they want really is a cock up their throats and that’s about it.

Ugh my blood is boiling.

I need my rivotril and I’m off to bed.

Baboosh for now.

P.S. Scottish guy if you’re reading this (hopefully not), thanks for teaching me a lesson. Really. I did love you at that time. I probably still do, I mean, I think the feelings are still there, in a way. Bah. That’s why I’ve blocked you on MSN.  God knows whether you’ve blocked me too. Anyway, on the extremely rare opportunity that I see you online, everything flashes back as if it happened yesterday. Ugh. But seriously, thanks for everything and being part of my life.

Enough drama. Let’s all be fabulous!

Sweet dreams to myself.



  1. James Forsyth

    I can’t actually imagine you in Edinburgh, it’s such a shit hole. I can’t wait till I escape this September.

  2. It is really is very Chav Scum to smoke, especially Reds. Even Donatella smokes lights. It takes about 3 weeks to break a habit, start now skank.

  3. Hey Bryanboy,
    I’ve been checking out your blog for a few days now, and I must say that it’s an awesome read! Keep up the good work. :)

  4. Ok so you’re all smoke-raunched out and need some net-love…gotcha.
    BUT – are just hoping all will keep you alive, making sure your chest has indeed not collapsed? Or are you trying to quit?
    Either way…hope you feel up to your usual fab self soon and really hun – chain smoking is just asking for trouble. All in moderation dear one.
    *Off for a smoke…*

  5. As impossible as it seems, I’m going to have to disagree with you about Seattle Stan’s sexuality only being his business. It’s also his wife’s, just like any husband’s sexuality is his wife’s business whether heterosexual or homosexual. The reason for this is because he has chosen to share his life with another person and you can’t just pick and choose what you’re going to let your partner in on. It’s not right and it’s not fair to the other person. His wife deserves to have a husband who loves everything about her, including her sexuality. Not wanting to be too preachy, but that man’s playin’ with fire as far as I’m concerned.
    As far as the smoking thing goes, did you know that a smoker’s lungs look like to two huge, honking blocks of black asphalt? It’s true, I’ve seen it for myself. Do you want to dirty up your lovely insides with dirty chunks of tar? No, I didn’t think so.

  6. Want to stop smoking? Two words – premature aging. All those facials won’t do shit compared to what smoking is doing to your face. (Ahhhhhh!)
    My public service announcement for the day.

  7. Hey I’m from Edinburgh too – I am also escaping in September, after the festival of course! What are you up to James?

  8. On the down-low, you know.
    Who wants to die of some smoking induced-disease.
    Gay, black, white- what’s the difference?
    We all finish ourselves in the end.

  9. lucifer

    you’re bisexual my ass, anutie clamida says you only fuck men…show us a pix of you and girl doing the tofu rub and we’ll believe you BUT for now, your fabuleuxness end here..

  10. Korean Celt is partially right about seattle stan. Cheating isn’t about sexuality. It’s about other people, and your committment to them. Just because you’re married to a woman doesn’t mean men are excluded. If he wants to fuck other people, he shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place.
    Plus, your sexuality isn’t just your business if you are ENDANGERING OTHER PEOPLE’S LIVES with your behaviour, as you pointed out.
    Would you like it if your LTR kept it from you that he might have AIDS or other nasty diseases? Wouldn’t you be upset if you found out he was fucking someone else, regardless of their gender?
    Stan has a responsibility to be honest with his wife and he’s making immature excuses.
    TO also bring kids into his pathetic lie is not just irresponisble, but outright deplorable and morally bankrupt.
    Stan, if you’re reading this, you’re an irresponsible asshole.
    And smoking ages your pretty face. Stop. Also the 2nd-hand smoke is not good for the people around you.

  11. tiffani

    I’m sorry, to that married man with two kids, he is sadly mistaken when he claims his “sexuality” is no one else’s business. It’s his wife business and any other person he decides to drag into his bed. hmph!!!

  12. Eek at vomit picture. Images of people vomiting are one of the few things that should be censored from the media, along with child porn and Margaret Thatcher glove puppets.
    Although as long as he uses protection the pathetic pseudo-bisexual from Scotland isn’t really endangering his wife very much, he is certainly CHEATING on her. (It’s amazing the number of married men and guys with girlfriends think that shagging a member of the same sex isn’t cheating). If he wants to have sex with men (or other women) he should ask his wife’s permission beforehand.
    And yes, closeted people are annoying, at least in countries where they have no legit. reason for it (I’d sympathise with those closeted in parts of Africa and the middle east, and those in the states in the US that banned homosexuality prior to the 2003 SCOTUS ruling).

  13. Jared Frost

    This has to be the funniest quote I have yet to hear….all week
    ~This “I’m bisexual but all I do is suck cock” attitude is rampant in the Filipino scene~
    Jared Frost
    Seattle, WA

  14. Hahaha. Nan Kempner. Apropos, I guess. Seems like you’re a clotheshorse just like she was. Except I don’t think your look would “fly” with the Upper East Side crowd. lol

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