Some early morning babble here. I’m having another costochondritis attack and my ribs are aching – there’s no better way to wait for the xanax to kick such as posting here.

If I’m not mistaken, sending unsolicited faxes, like spam, to random fax numbers/companies is illegal in the USA.

But I’m in the third world so that gives me

international & diplomatic immunity.

So here’s what I did earlier.

I searched on goodolgoogle for some random fax numbers of some publishers and literary agents – Simon & Schuster, IMG (yes, they do literary arts too, but heck, I want to be a superdupersuperdupersupermodel), Time Warner, Random House, etc. Once I had that list, I blasted their faxes with a simple, 1-page fax. Here’s a copy of the PDF file that I faxed and here’s a little graphic of what the fax looked like.


Seriously, I think it would be a fantastic thing for me to have my own coffee table book with all my pictures on it and my tales and my squabbles. It would be a very nice thing to have on each and every table or desk in the whole wide world. Your visiting guests will love you better than the stack of JC Penney or Victoria’s Secret catalog or whatever that you’ve got under your sofa.

Anyway, I could’ve selected a better-looking picture of me but I decided to be sedated. I mean, fuck it – it was around 4:30AM when I did the thing. Besides, I don’t want them to have some culture shock.

Hopefully by tomorrow, the lucky recipients of

my magic fax (otherwise known as gossipping

watercooler receptiobitches) will pass along my

domain name thru intraoffice gossip, post-it notes,

word of mouth etc.

Who knows, I might be set for global domination – KNOCK KNOCK CLICHE – a coffee table book, a clothing line, fragrance and then hollywood!

All it requires is a thick face darling. And there’s no other face thicker in this planet than mine.