Say a big pink hello to Max Foster.

He’s an anchor for CNN International, who is based in London. Despite him being almost balding, there’s something charismatic and CAMP with this guy when I was watching the TV earlier. And you know how I despise TV. I only watch CNN whenever I watch TV. I’m so over my couch potato phase. So to me, yeah, this moment was kinda special.

Maxfoster

_40492993_cahoot_maxlive203_1Y’all think he’s gay or not? Like most CNN imports, this charming, I-wish/don’t-mind-that-he-was-dirty-old-gay man came from the beeb (BBC). He does have a fugly photo too, fresh from the BBC website, circa 2004. Look at the awful face and imagine the look when he’s giving it to your shithole. Gawd, when I saw him on TV earlier, all I wanted to do is to smash my TV set, pull him out of the box, rip off that suit and see what kind of treasure awaits me.

He’s probably uncut. Oh well. whatever.

But yeah, I think whenever people from the beeb transfer to CNN, they somehow become cuter. That’s what "private funds" and "budget" does versus "public funds". More makeup, better clothes, plastic surgery….. hah! ;)

Penny Martin is God.

Pennymartinisgod

There is a GOD and her name is Penny. Screw nickles, dimes and pounds. Everyone get down on yer knees and hail the name "penny". Enough said.

Let’s go guy s-hopping now, shall we?

Admit it. If you use the internet and unless you are married (heck, even married people still hunt for shags on the side), chances are, you’ve probably created a profile at some website(s) looking for love, lust and well, lusting love and lovingly lust.

Like any internet geek such as yourself, I, one of the beautiful *vomit* ones, have all sorts of profiles EVERYWHERE. There’s one at myspace, friendster, outeverywhere, fridae, thingbox, gaydar and all sorts of places. Even at places where it involves an online translator where people speak french or russian.I believe in biodiversity and I think you have to put yourself out there. The world is a big, big place and you don’t want to miss opportunities.

Sadly, some of the opportunities I get are:

Ohdear1

I’m at a loss of words when I saw that. Actually, not really. I’m used to it. If you’re a chink, chances are you’d probably be getting a ton of messages such as the one above.

What never ceases to amaze me tho is where the fucking hell do some of these "types" get the audacity to even think I’d go for them. I think perhaps just because I’m a chink they automatically have it programmed that I’d go for their hairy large buttocks. Can I say purge? Not that there’s something wrong with em, I mean, they’re humans too you know. But still. Gosh. Fine. I promise I won’t be critical of other people.

Has it even occured to them that despite me being of the exotic kind, that I’d actually go for someone within MY age range? Or at least close to it? I give them A+ for Effort though. Seriously. It takes BALLS to message people. I think it comes with the ageing process.

Now don’t get me wrong, I have LOTS of friends and acquaintances with people coming from all sorts of ages, backgrounds and lifestyles. I do talk to people regardless of who/what/where/etc they are.

But sometimes… just sometimes….. well, let’s just say I kind of turn into Beyonce. Nasty Girl. That sort of thing.

Anyway. Next one on the line is…. Errm, Actually, this one more of a "confession-type" thingie. But you know what, I, Bryanboy, have no shame. He and his friends will most likely read this but fuck it.

For the longest time ever, I had this little only crush thing with a certain guy. Oh yes. For like over a year, I’ve checked his profile out probably like at least once a week. Or something. I thought he was cute. Well, he is kinda cute.

Tguyukohforthelifeofgodjustfuckme

The way the profile system at OutEverywhere works is the fact that when you check someone’s profile out and vice-versa, the system leaves a "track" automatically, therefore notifying you that he/you had visited each other’s profile. But god, this guy must have thought I’m a stalker.

So after about a year or two of me checking his profile out, he FINALLY took notice and sent me a message. This was like way, way, way, way back ago.

Amiassey

I was gobsmacked when I got that message. Again, bukkake facial at its finest.

And you know what?

I let his message sit on my inbox for an ENTIRE MONTH because I just didn’t know what to say.

Do I seem "assey" to you, my blog readers?

Last time I’ve checked, I’m the epitome of nice. And sweet.

One month later, I decided to send him a reply once and for all when I moved on (and my little infatuation is over).

Mormons_1 

Guess what? I didn’t get a reply since. I think I scared him off. Hah bloody hah.

Well, aren’t Mormons come from like Utah? Bah.

Now you know why I’ll be perennially single.

There’s just something about me, oh god save me, that kind of um, either attracts… or scare… people off.

Believe it or not though, I’m shy when it comes to boys.

It is EXTREMELY rare for me to actually send someone **I KINDA LIKE** a message.

Yes, I’ve got no shame when it comes to most things. Seriously.

But when it comes to me sending random people I kind of fancy… erk… I just can’t do it.

Even in person. Oh yes. Even in person.

I guess I’m one of those passive-types.

If people (I don’t fancy, at least sexually) talk to me, which thankfully, some do, I think it’s fantastic.

But for me to come up to someone I like… that’s a different story.

I need balls dammit.

Oh just bloody go out there, my blog

reader, and pimp me out to someone.

Baboosh for now.