My nightmare is over. Well, the big one is definitely over. Anything beyond from this point are aftershocks.

I’ve been hiding a secret from y’all in the past few months. I don’t think I’ve mentioned anything about my mini depression about getting an HIV test. I know, I know, we all have skeletons in the closet and boy I’m happy to share this cadaver with you.

On Monday after going to my orthopedic doctor and neurologist, I decided to just do it, once and for all.

Even the pope, may GOD indeed bless his body

and soul, thinks I’m a good girl simply because I’ve

abstained from sex in the past 4 months.

The results were due today and when I picked it up, voila – negative.

Hivtest

I also went back to Asian Hospital today to get my MRI scan done for my neck pains. The radiology room was utterly, utterly boring. One of the guys told me to change into the hospital gown before the procedure. There were only a handful of people there so my sis and I decided to spice things up a bit.

Boringhospital

I pranced around the dressing room and the waiting area in this tacky hospital yellow dressing thing. My sis wanted to take pictures. Gawd I look so fat in it. Yellow is simply not my color. Especially not hospital yellow.

Hospital1
Hospital2
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Hospital4

The MRI scan was so surreal.

I’m not claustrophobic or anything but when I went inside the big white machine, I felt like I was inside a coffin. Literally. During the process I heard all these Star Wars/Space Intergalactic Chu Chu noises prrt prrt prrt crrt crrrt crrrt brrrt brrt brrt tooot toot tooot toooooooo tut tut tooooo tooo. Am I still alive? Am I dead already? Where am I? Am I an alien? Oh my god am I breathing oxygen?

Hospital5

I got a copy of the films they used and I tried to scan it but it’s hard. Here’s a pic of my neck. On some of the films it had part of my skull in it and I’m surprised to find out that I actually have a brain!!! I swear to god I’ve always thought I only had 2 brain cells and air inside it so imagine the joy I had with my experience with human anatomy.

Human


I’m human — yes — I’m human!!!!!!!

Saturday will be the day for my MRI results. In any case, I’m still the happiest girl in the world re: my HIV test.

Bad grass never die sweethearts. I was born to make all of your fucking lives a living hell.

Big kisses from me to you.