The Unofficial Bryanboy Guide to Job Interviews

Written By bryanboy

1) Wear fabulous shoes.
My sister got her internship at a firm simply because she minced around on her 4 inch Dolce & Gabbanas. It made this clickity heels noise and the interviewer asked her where her shoes are from — the old woman and her had the same shoe size and they both had the same taste in shoes.

2. Flirt with the security guard or the nearest human male near reception.

3. Mince your way into the interviewing room.

Flash that billion dollar smile and give your interviewer a wink when you first open the door.

5. Smile lots and answer his/her questions.

6. Do not touch anything on the table. Put your hands either on your hips, lap or keep your arms folded in front of your chest.

7. Keep in mind that interviewing is such a horrible task. I bet you 100% that THAT person hates his/her job so much cause all they bloody do is sit behind some rancid desk interviewing unemployed mortals (like you) pretending someone they’re not just to get a job. They see all sorts of these desperate jobseeker bimbos every day. Don’t project a fake impression.

8. Try to insert some spice and happiness into your conversation. Your fun attitude might be the key to getting that job.

9. Don’t forget to wiggle your butt out and airkiss the person before you leave.

If everything goes for the worst, or if he/she is asking you hard
questions, rub your nipples, lick your fingers in front of him
and tell him/her "let’s party sweetie!"

and then that’s it. Good luck!


  1. Is the last one from experience? hahahahaha. I could manage everything except the last one, although miu miu is my shoe of the moment.

  2. Hehe, I’ll have to try and remember some of these tips, because I absolutely and positively suck at job interviews! :C

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